futile devices

I’m looking around for a new place to blog. wordpress… i don’t know. i don’t love the layout here. i’m using that as my excuse as to why i don’t write in here nearly enough. it’s the AESTHETIC! not me, so in other words. IT’S YOU, not me. right?

but in the meanwhile. and because i’m working a 9 to 6 job again. i will probably be writing in here more often, or at least in whatever version of a blog i find and like better. hahahahaha! i was thinking for awhile of just having my blog hook up right to my website. crazy, right? but that way i could design my blog for myself! and so no more bitching about it really. i’d just handle it myself. STRONG WORDS.

i keep my blog pretty care-free. pretty conversational overall, BUT this entry seems even more. is it because it’s towards the end of the day of work (did the syntax make sense there?). i barely do anything all day at work, and i’m pooped and loopey. HOW DO DOCTORS WHO WORK 48HOUR SHIFTS DO IT? and should they?

Let’s do some self-promotion!

So, now at my SHOP. I have introduced HIGH QUALITY GICLEE PRINTS for your buying pleasure, reader (that’s YOU). Right I have three of pieces in print form on 6″x8″ high quality paper.  I plan on putting more of my pieces in various sizes on Katnawlins Shop soon.

6x8 Chief New Saint Joseph's Suit PRINT

The three new PRINTS are Chief New Saint Joseph’s Suit (seen above), Creole Girl with a Pearl Earring, and Fleur de Elephant.

Also many of you wonder what I do while I’m at work. Well, I’m a receptionist right now. So I mostly answer phones, greet people and do a bit of data research. Thanks for asking, nosiy posey! I also doodle and chat with friends. Below I’ve included such a doodle completed moments ago on a POST-IT note. check it out!

 

Dooooooooooooodle TIZZZZZYY

On to everyone’s favorite part.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. How long have you had this blog? I feel like it’s been awhile even if you barely write in it.  – Harrison (From Portsmith, MN)

That’s a fabulous question, Harrison. It’s been a year and FOUR DAYS. That’s right I started this here blog October 14, 2009. Strange right? My writing to the public has straddled over two different decades! CRAZY!

2. Hi, I’m not sure you used “straddled” correctly in the above answer to question no. 1. How I even know you did such a thing I know is sketchy, but I do know what I know, and I ain’t going back to how things used to be. I can’t and I won’t. To make this question/comment seem even slightly necessarily, I’ve included a picture for your collection. Enjoy, freak! — Amanda (from Joshua Tree, CA)

MONKEY BUSINESS. MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

Amanda, damn okay I get it. I’m horrible with the English Language, but why why do you find the need to be so condescending mixed with random weird rambling? What good could that possi– oh my god, you are giving me a taste of my own medicine. Good one, Amanda. Good one. Hats to you, hats to you! And I love the picture OF COURSE! It’s ironic and not just for hipsters, but for everyone! Every American gets it. Democrazy (hahahaha POLITICAL HUMOR)

 

That’s it for today, folks. Calm down! I love you all and some of  you are OK-AY, and others are just AL-RIGHT.

Happy New Year, and other things we stop saying after feb. 1st

SAINTS WORLD CHAMPIONS.. WHO DAT, WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT THEM SAINTS... UMM NO ONE ACTUALLY. WE DAT

Happy 2010, y’all. It was a long time a coming since as everyone knows that 2009 historically sucked in so many ways that I can’t even count them (that’s how bad 2009 was I lost the ability to count).

Asides aside, I hope everyone had a great winter-holiday time, and even more fabulous New Years Eve and Day. I haven’t written on here in a real minute because I was across the world in a far away country called London, England. It’s a tiny set of islands in case geography failed you like it’s failed me. Then some time in New Orleans where I really never found the time to write on here.

My Middle Sister took this Picture as My Mother Looked for an ATM

So, now I’m back in Los Angeles doing what I do most of the time sitting behind a desk answering phone calls for other people’s lives aka an assistant. I know y’all are so jealous. Don’t worry I am also doodling up a storm as I sit behind this desk.

Now to the best part of this post! THE SAINTS not only beat the Cardinals, the Vikings, but they went to the SUPER BOWL and won the WHOLE DAMN THING! For reals. I actually was in NOLA last week for the Super Bowl and for LOMBARDI GRAS (the SAINTS Super Bowl parade) Shit was intense.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Where have you been?

I think I just explained all of that.

Flu of the Swine (and other reasons why this desk is empty)

Salut, mes cheries (that’s all of the french I’ll send your way, Kind World). I am sitting at a different desk than I was sitting at just this fair Monday. I’m at a different company and I’m in a different mess of germs that surrounds me.

What are you talking about, Katnawlins? “Mess of germs?” I hate it. I really do.

Today I am sitting desk for an assistant, who has been sick for the past couple of days with an illness. Is it swine flu? I don’t know, but everyone keeps telling me how sick this girl was/is. So, as I sit at her desk where she sneezed onto the keyboard, and wiped her nose with a pen (I don’t know if that happened, or if it’s possible). I wonder when will I get the flu of the swine?

 I always get sick. If my lungs even hear word of illness they begin to fill up with mucus and attitude. My head will ache and my nose will run. I get the chills from the just thought of someone sneezing on me. So, with this much paranoia. This much stress. What does my stupid ass do?

As I doodle, I pick up a pen off the desk (to umm doodle), and then the phone answers, so instead of putting the pen back down on said desk, I put the pen in my MOUTH! germ infested pen right in the sick maker! Readers, why am I soooo stupid, and so lazy? Is it so hard to place a simple pen back on a simple table?

In related news that makes me sick, Wednesday I went to the coffee shop close to my house to get some coffee before I went to the gym. I go to this coffee shop all the time (sometimes I even write this blog from within the walls of said shop). So, they know me pretty well over there. As the cashier finishes ringing up my coffee, a helper barista looks at me for a second, and says:

BaristaJr.: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Sure…

Barista Jr.: Is that your car with the Louisiana tags?

Me: Yeah.

Barista Jr.: Umm what do the umm Louisiana tags mean?

Me: You mean the bumper stickers?

Barista Jr.: No, the tags…

Me: You mean the liscence plate?

Barista Jr.: Yeah.. umm was that car in Hurricane Katrina?

Me: Uhhh.

(Oh I should say that I was supposed to have taken my receipt by this point and kept the line moving)

Barista Jr.: Yeah. did you drive here during Hurricane Katrina?

Me: Uhhh.. No.

Umm Barista Jr., don’t you think that if my car was in Hurricane Katrina that it might not have made it through? The city was 80% underwater. Just a thought, sir.

Also, I feel that’s it rude to ask someone you don’t know very well how they, their house, or car were affected by a natural disaster within moments of talking to them for the first time. It’s a lot of personal information for someone (i.e. me)  to reveal about themselves (myself) in a short period of time.  How will the conversation ever be normal after I say I lost all my worldly possessions except for some suitcases? There will be the inevitable awkwardness and the sorries (it’s not the other person’s fault except for asking me such a personal question within moments of talking to me).

Enough with that! So pray for me, readers. Pray for me long and hard because I best not get sick. I can’t and I won’t, and I need to stop putting foreign objects in mouth (that’s what she said…  I actually typed it, so that’s what she typed!)

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Dear Katnawlins, Will you be purchasing a ticket to Chris Brown’s comeback tour?. – Chris (Boston, MA)

Comeback from what?  Ohhh, yeah beating up his girlfriend, biting her and shit. Right, right. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be making this comeback tour, but when he hits the next girlfriend I’ll be around for that, and for the next one and the next… well you get it. violence is cyclical.

2. Dear Kat Lady, how birds have sex? – The Zookeeper (from the Zoo, where else?)

Hi Zoo Lad, I guess I am confused why an expert such as yourself would be asking me the non-expert is avian fuckery how they do it. I’ll leave this one to the birds. But hint hint: male birds have two members, it’s science!

3. Dear Katnawlins, Re: M. Laveau with the Gris-Gris — I was always told growing up in NOLA that the gris-gris was a sort of voodoo curse (as in the old Saints song “Put the Gris-Gris on the Other Team”). Not being a voodoo practitioner – or having gone in one of those touristy voodoo shops or on the Midnight Graveyard Tour – myself, I don’t know for sure. Thoughts? – Transplanted Y’at (from Houston, TX)

Fantastic question and name! I’ve actually heard both before. I did some research, and used the definition I found in the blog post. I wish I could be of more help, but I’m pretty useless when it comes to knowing my shit. I love you, by the way!

Keep sending in those questions!

Alright, dears! That’s it for now. I’m about to have a fun and hectic weekend no doubt as should the rest of you. I don’t want to see any of this type of goings on: