Receptionist is like… WOAH or like sittin’ at a desk answering a random call and signing for packages (jealous, world?)

Good Afternoon, my little chicklets! How I have missed you? It’s been awhile since a real post from me. I’ve just been busy (and not just on Farmville (I am on level 18 haha oh how lame)). I’ve been painting, drawing, going on auditions, performed at the UCB and working. And of course reading and watching everything I can about my boys, THE SAINTS (8-0, baby).

So, what am I doing toady? I am working as a receptionist for a film company best known for sparkling vampires (only clue y’all will get). Just at I type this bit of fun I overhear German Business Men speaking in German (surprise!). What are they saying? Who knows… I’m sure something German-y & Business-y. Other than that I just answer phone calls, receive packages, and call people to them their “noon is here.” It’s so exciting! Right? Right? ugh.

This is what I wish I was doing instead:

This is what I dream of doing as I sit at my lonely desk answering phone calls I could care a less about... oh to be a chimp!

But alas, I am here sitting at this desk writing to you, my loyal readers about the drudgery (word or not?) of sitting under flourescent lighting and sparkling vampires (since the trailer is on 24/7 in the lobby- sooo much longing). Really nothing interesting to report apparently there was an ambulance and cop cars downstairs earlier, someone had to come out in a stretcher. There are no windows around me, so I didn’t see this happen, but I was told by a delivery man. BREAKING NEWS, people, or breaking news for that person on the stretcher.

So, this trailer being on repeat… I have no idea what the movie is about. Whenever I look up to watch for a moment it’s a totally different scene then the one I’ve seen before. A lot going on in this one film (so many elements: wind, water, fire… the fourth element). And a girl in a scarf (that’s the scene I keep seeing by chance). Oh, and there is a lot of running. I wonder how much dialogue there actually will be with all that running. Except for the obvious “Why are you running?”, “Hurry Up!” , “Keep Running!”. “Why are we running?” , “There is a werewolf- RUN” and “Why am I running, when I can fly?” <— this is what I think about when I sit at reception.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. That orangutan looks a lot like what I picture your father to be like. Kinda hairy and always with a dog? Please elaborate on the weirdness of your paternal canine-watcher. – Elle (Berkeley, CA) or could be from OW (New Orleans, LA)

Yes, my father looks like that picture of an orangutan with a leashed dog: remember it’s here. Which is why I chose that picture because it reminded me a lot of my father, which I believe was the point. My father loves his three daughters, but he loves his four dogs perhaps a bit more. He considers his four canine pals to be his children as well as his companions while he stays at home all day painting and answering the doorbell for UPS (my mother receives many packages). His favorite dog would probably be the schnoodle, Heidi (ten pounds of delight) who makes him carry her everywhere. Though he loves his new son (and only son) very much, Buckley, the german shepard-mix we rescued from El Paso, TX back in August. He loves those dogs as much as he’ll hate this answer.

2. luv the blog, but hate the DMV- how did it go? - Chuck (from Baltimore, MD)

Hi Chuck, thank you and I hate the DMV, too. I know I said in my last blog I was going, but I ended up having to post-pone that trip to later this month. I am going to the DMV to get a California license as well as needing to register my car in California (to get Cali license  plates). Wish me luck, please!

3. You do improv? what type? long form or short? any stand up? a comedy fan. keep up the good work. – Jasper (Louisville, KY

Thanks, Jasper. I just completed my first level class of improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade and look forward for 201 level in January. I prefer watching and performing long form, but I think short form is a great way to warm up, and can be a lot of fun. I don’t do stand up currently, but as soon as I gets the balls to do it I figure why not try it out. Thank you. How is the comedy scene in Louisville?

going on auditions…

Welcome, World. What’s good? You look fierce!

Let’s get right down to business today. I’m a working Actor in Los Angeles (but what does it mean?). It means I go on auditions when I’m not working or when they’ll have me. I’ve only been on THREE auditions since I’ve been here, but to be fair those have been the ones I’ve been available to go on. Also to be fair (because I’m in such a fair mood) I act real picky about where auditions are being held. If I see breakdowns for USC student film auditions I do not even submit myself for said parts (because of distance… this is horrible logic on my part).

So, let’s talk about the auditions I’ve been on…

1ST: The first audition was SPEC commercial for VISA. I had to play the Statue of Liberty trying to convince a family to come to NY (versus going to another place for vacation). i had to improve a RANT about why New York City is the best. I developed a crazy New York Jewish Auntie accent and did the best I could under the situation (which included me wearing a tiara and holding a light saber (that was supposed to be the light the statue of liberty holds). For my first LA auditions I was my most nervous as well as my post prepared. I would soon find with the next two auditions I was no longer nervous, but i also was no longer early or prepared either. I started slacking before I even tried.

[p.s. spec commercial is one that is pitched to the company (here it's VISA) and if they select it then it will go to air and the actors and everyone will paid. if it's not chosen you basically have something to put on your reel/experience]

2ND: Next audition was for the ROLE of KIM on the TLC show, “I didn’t know I was Pregnant” where I would be playing the person who does the reenactments as the person who actually went through the ordeal retells their story as I (the reenactments would include me clutching my stomach in pain and doing some improvisation of denial with a doctor about how there is no way I could be pregnant). Yeah, so this is a fantastic gig ($400 to grimace at the camera, where do i sign up?).

I get to where I THINK the audition is like twenty-five minutes early, and I’m super proud of myself, too. Anytime you’re too proud of yourself know that a big cream pie is about to literally hit your face within a five minute period. Just know that much about life. I’m chilling in my car going over the sides provided (sides = lines). I decide to go sit in the lobby. I get out and quickly realize the address I’m looking for doesn’t exist. I had written down that the house was “Brown with green trimming” well there is a house that is “Green with brown trimming,” so maybe I just made a mistake when I was writing down the details. This house looks real house-y, too not at all like a casting agency, but a lot of casting agencies are houses, so who am I to judge?

Now, if you’re not certain if a house that looks house-y is in fact someone’s private residence or a place of business maybe you’d knock, or ring the doorbell. But do I do that? No! Of course not because I want a big cream pie in the FACE. I instead go to see if the doorknob will turn (because if it’s a business the door will be unlocked?), and sure enough the door is unlocked THUS A BUSINESS! Right? Wrong! I walk inside hesitantly with resume/head shot in hand.

First of all, this house is gorgeous! There is a great natural light, and an atrium where four very attractive people are eating what looks to be a delicious lunch. So, this is the weirdest casting agency ever (if it is one). This dude gets up from the table, and comes over to me, and is like, “Hello! Welcome, please please come in… sorry this is unprofessional of us we’re just finishing up our lunch. Please take a seat, and I’ll get my sister!” A brother and sister casting director set, cool!

His sister comes in and gives me a hug, and says, “Welcome, welcome! Let me give you a tour of the house!” (points to a corner of art, “We use the living room as a show room as much as a living room.” and it takes me to this point that I realize in my idiocy that I’m in the complete wrong place! I say, “excuse me, ummm this isn’t a casting agency?” Brother & Sister, stop and look at each other with a smile on their faces, “NOOOOO! Ohhh No… it’s not, it’s not!” and they laugh, and I’m bright red. i quickly put my head shot/resume behind me as if nothing ever happened. they offer to look up the correct address for me on their computer, which is beyond nice. whereas before I was twenty-five minutes early I’m about to be five minutes late.

Luckily for me the actual location of the audition was close by, and I got there right in the nick of time! Did I get the part, no. Do I have a fabulous story, yes! And that’s how you stay POSITIVE as a working actor in LA.

3RD: The third audition was yesterday and it was another SPEC but this time for Doritos. There isn’t much to say about it other than the fact I had to make orgasmic sounds with another woman for the two MALE CASTING DIRECTORS who just laughed the whole time. It was awkward and couldn’t have felt more degrading.

DIE-HARD FANS QUESTION PORTION/TIME/FUN:

Now for everyone’s favorite part of my daily (lol as if) blog entries.

1. kaTNawlins, you got this handled! i just have a quick question… what do you recommend for a back ache, a cold or warm wash cloth? txs. – Jordan (from Portland, MN)

Jordan, thank you for the compliment. That’s an easy question for me. I would recommend a warm wash cloth. I hate back aches.

2. thanks for the cool blog. are you psyched for the new season of 30 Rock tonight? who is ur fav character? – Lenny (from Fort Worth, TX)

Thanks, Lenny. I am indeed super psyched for the new season of 30 Rock. It’s a terrific show (had a couple of weak episodes last year, but a weak episode of 30 Rock is still highly enjoyable). Awww my favorite character? That’s difficult. Let’s go with Tracy (he’s the most quotable for me).

3. HEY KATNAWLINS, YOU ALRIGHT, YOU ALRIGHT! TELL ME A/B SUMTHING I WAS WONDERIN’ A/B. WUT DO U THINK A/B 2012 R WE ALL GOIN DIE? – SIMON (from London, England)

First of all, I LOVE that I have a fan in LONDON. Very cool. I think 2012 is the most ridiculous thing ever. Nostradamus has only been right about things we say he’s right about. The stuff he said was vague, like “For Score, and Some Time From Now the sky will open up and water will come pouring down and create humidity so heavy will cause a horse and buggy collision” <– the man was behind the times. Oh, you ask about the Mayans… I respect them and shit, but come on they didn’t foresee their own demise (which came way before 2012) yet they were able to predict everyone else’s but their own. Come On!

Well, that’s all for now! Hope you like the blog so far… also if you’ve got a question for me just ask away and I’ll do my best to answer it.