Plate Tectonics

Two posts in Two days? Woah. Has hell frozen over, or what?

I debated whether or not to make a post today. If only because I didn’t want my three readers (too many?) to get used to this way of life. I probably shouldn’t antagonize y’all either.

SELF-PROMOTION: hey, ma! look at what I can do!

"Fat Tuesday Shotgun (one of a kind painting)" 36" x 24"

This is the largest painting I’ve ever painted. It’s 3 feet x 2 feet. CRAZY! You can check it out in more depth at my #ETSY shop, Katnawlin’s Shop. I really had a good time making this one. I have hard time painting New Orleans Shotgun style homes. It’s much easier for me to draw and color them with colored pencil and make them very detailed. But with painting it’s hard to get the detail in. I think, “Fat Tuesday Shotgun” is the closest I have gotten yet to my hand-drawn colored pencil pieces on #ETSY. An EXAMPLE of that is below:

"NOLA Townhouse (one of a kind)"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Good to c ur back, but wait a minute! where were all the hi-larious chimp pics? you go away forever and win u return u dont even post a single pic of a gorilla or nothing. whhhhhhhyyyyy???? – Pip (From Washua, OR)

You’re sooooo right. I feel dreadful. I’ve really failed you, faithful reader. I’ve really failed all of humanity and monkey kind on this one (I know Chimps aren’t monkeys, but actually an ape). Actually, in the mean time I have been saving up some monkey/ape pics. Here’s one of the truest beauty. Enjoy, Pip.

You look familar, Gibon (is this a gibon?

2. YOU’RE BACK! I’VE MISSED YOU. I REALLY HAVE. I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE A QUESTION HERE, RIGHT? I KNOW YOU MOSTLY DRAW AND PAINT 2-D MOSTLY. DO YOU PAINT ANYTHING 3-D? THANKS. KEEP UP THE GOOD WRITING. – LORNE (From Toluca Lake, CA)

Thank you, Lorne. ALL CAPS, huh? Are you a screamer or senile? Just keeding! (I’m in a snarky mood clearly, and some would say that’s my natural state, so can you call it a mood if it’s always?). To answer your question, YES, I do create some things in 3-D (other than paintings). I have one piece in my #ETSY SHOP that is 3-D, and I have other pieces chilling in my home not on sale that are. Example:

for sale: "Katnawlin's Keepsake Box (One of a Kind)"

I painted this paper-mache piggy seen here in my SOLD colored pencil drawing, "Home is Where the "X" Is (one of a kind)"

3. hi. – Rita (From Arlington, VA)

Hello, Rita. I almost didn’t print this, but I figured it was so innocent and sweet. It’s like a callback to a much simpler time, and for that reason and that reason alone I decided to keep it. Thanks.

that last post was a tidge too long

Wow, that last post was on the long side, eh? I hated it for you, my poor readers. So, let’s go another way today (this is where I’d just write a sentence and say Peace, and be done with it).

I’m going to switch gears a little from the last post, which was all about my life as a working actor, and instead talk about my life as a starving artist (I crossed out “starving” because I actually make money doing the “art” thing). Let me tell you who isn’t making any money off of me! And that’s my manager, who also happens to be my youngest sister, Olivia.

My Manager Olivia (lil sis) Waiting by the Phone for Sales:

She can't make bank till I make bank

When I started my “ART BUSINESS” my sister, manager Olivia was only helping me with distribution of post cards around New Orleans (like in boutiques, cafes, gyms and restaurants).

This is one of four designs of post cards we left all over New Orleans

But she got greedy and demanded that one day she get paid for her work. So, we signed a contract saying that if I sold TWENTY pieces on my SITE. Then I would begin to pay her 10% (she didn’t like that amount so we upped it to a whopping 15%).  Currently I’m at seventeen sales on my site, which means that my manager is only THREE SALES AWAY FROM MAKING BANK! To help her case she gladly agreed to be interviewed for my blog today. Here is an excerpt of the polite interview we had.

Questions 1: Why did you go into business with Katnawlins?

Answer: I went into business with you because I didn’t know any better

Quesion 2: What have you learned?

Answer: I haven’t learned shit.

Question 3: What mistakes have you made going into business with Katnawlins?

Answer: I made mistakes because you never pay me.

Question 4: Any other thoughts?

Answer: Please don’t portray me as a puppy, that’s weird.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Hey, Mista Actruss, Where do ya wanna work? – Lil Lloyd (from Annoyingville)

Hello Lloyd, thank you for reading the blog. Part of me didn’t want to answer your question because I prefer if my questioners actually told me where they’re from (i.e. I know Annoyingville isn’t real… but what state is it… New Hampshire… I’m right, right?)

2. Don’t worry, Katnawlins. I hearted your last long blog post a lot. as a struggling actor i totally got the need to express your concerns! break a leg (i literally just broke my leg in a freak-extra-gig that basically went wrong). – Clark (from Arrowhead, OK)

Thank you, Clark. I’m sorry to hear about your broken leg. Also maybe move out of Arrowhead, and you won’t be struggling so much (just a thought). I hope you heal and keep the dream alive, son.

Only two questions… fans, y’all NEED TO STEP UP!

See y’all later!

going on auditions…

Welcome, World. What’s good? You look fierce!

Let’s get right down to business today. I’m a working Actor in Los Angeles (but what does it mean?). It means I go on auditions when I’m not working or when they’ll have me. I’ve only been on THREE auditions since I’ve been here, but to be fair those have been the ones I’ve been available to go on. Also to be fair (because I’m in such a fair mood) I act real picky about where auditions are being held. If I see breakdowns for USC student film auditions I do not even submit myself for said parts (because of distance… this is horrible logic on my part).

So, let’s talk about the auditions I’ve been on…

1ST: The first audition was SPEC commercial for VISA. I had to play the Statue of Liberty trying to convince a family to come to NY (versus going to another place for vacation). i had to improve a RANT about why New York City is the best. I developed a crazy New York Jewish Auntie accent and did the best I could under the situation (which included me wearing a tiara and holding a light saber (that was supposed to be the light the statue of liberty holds). For my first LA auditions I was my most nervous as well as my post prepared. I would soon find with the next two auditions I was no longer nervous, but i also was no longer early or prepared either. I started slacking before I even tried.

[p.s. spec commercial is one that is pitched to the company (here it's VISA) and if they select it then it will go to air and the actors and everyone will paid. if it's not chosen you basically have something to put on your reel/experience]

2ND: Next audition was for the ROLE of KIM on the TLC show, “I didn’t know I was Pregnant” where I would be playing the person who does the reenactments as the person who actually went through the ordeal retells their story as I (the reenactments would include me clutching my stomach in pain and doing some improvisation of denial with a doctor about how there is no way I could be pregnant). Yeah, so this is a fantastic gig ($400 to grimace at the camera, where do i sign up?).

I get to where I THINK the audition is like twenty-five minutes early, and I’m super proud of myself, too. Anytime you’re too proud of yourself know that a big cream pie is about to literally hit your face within a five minute period. Just know that much about life. I’m chilling in my car going over the sides provided (sides = lines). I decide to go sit in the lobby. I get out and quickly realize the address I’m looking for doesn’t exist. I had written down that the house was “Brown with green trimming” well there is a house that is “Green with brown trimming,” so maybe I just made a mistake when I was writing down the details. This house looks real house-y, too not at all like a casting agency, but a lot of casting agencies are houses, so who am I to judge?

Now, if you’re not certain if a house that looks house-y is in fact someone’s private residence or a place of business maybe you’d knock, or ring the doorbell. But do I do that? No! Of course not because I want a big cream pie in the FACE. I instead go to see if the doorknob will turn (because if it’s a business the door will be unlocked?), and sure enough the door is unlocked THUS A BUSINESS! Right? Wrong! I walk inside hesitantly with resume/head shot in hand.

First of all, this house is gorgeous! There is a great natural light, and an atrium where four very attractive people are eating what looks to be a delicious lunch. So, this is the weirdest casting agency ever (if it is one). This dude gets up from the table, and comes over to me, and is like, “Hello! Welcome, please please come in… sorry this is unprofessional of us we’re just finishing up our lunch. Please take a seat, and I’ll get my sister!” A brother and sister casting director set, cool!

His sister comes in and gives me a hug, and says, “Welcome, welcome! Let me give you a tour of the house!” (points to a corner of art, “We use the living room as a show room as much as a living room.” and it takes me to this point that I realize in my idiocy that I’m in the complete wrong place! I say, “excuse me, ummm this isn’t a casting agency?” Brother & Sister, stop and look at each other with a smile on their faces, “NOOOOO! Ohhh No… it’s not, it’s not!” and they laugh, and I’m bright red. i quickly put my head shot/resume behind me as if nothing ever happened. they offer to look up the correct address for me on their computer, which is beyond nice. whereas before I was twenty-five minutes early I’m about to be five minutes late.

Luckily for me the actual location of the audition was close by, and I got there right in the nick of time! Did I get the part, no. Do I have a fabulous story, yes! And that’s how you stay POSITIVE as a working actor in LA.

3RD: The third audition was yesterday and it was another SPEC but this time for Doritos. There isn’t much to say about it other than the fact I had to make orgasmic sounds with another woman for the two MALE CASTING DIRECTORS who just laughed the whole time. It was awkward and couldn’t have felt more degrading.

DIE-HARD FANS QUESTION PORTION/TIME/FUN:

Now for everyone’s favorite part of my daily (lol as if) blog entries.

1. kaTNawlins, you got this handled! i just have a quick question… what do you recommend for a back ache, a cold or warm wash cloth? txs. – Jordan (from Portland, MN)

Jordan, thank you for the compliment. That’s an easy question for me. I would recommend a warm wash cloth. I hate back aches.

2. thanks for the cool blog. are you psyched for the new season of 30 Rock tonight? who is ur fav character? – Lenny (from Fort Worth, TX)

Thanks, Lenny. I am indeed super psyched for the new season of 30 Rock. It’s a terrific show (had a couple of weak episodes last year, but a weak episode of 30 Rock is still highly enjoyable). Awww my favorite character? That’s difficult. Let’s go with Tracy (he’s the most quotable for me).

3. HEY KATNAWLINS, YOU ALRIGHT, YOU ALRIGHT! TELL ME A/B SUMTHING I WAS WONDERIN’ A/B. WUT DO U THINK A/B 2012 R WE ALL GOIN DIE? – SIMON (from London, England)

First of all, I LOVE that I have a fan in LONDON. Very cool. I think 2012 is the most ridiculous thing ever. Nostradamus has only been right about things we say he’s right about. The stuff he said was vague, like “For Score, and Some Time From Now the sky will open up and water will come pouring down and create humidity so heavy will cause a horse and buggy collision” <– the man was behind the times. Oh, you ask about the Mayans… I respect them and shit, but come on they didn’t foresee their own demise (which came way before 2012) yet they were able to predict everyone else’s but their own. Come On!

Well, that’s all for now! Hope you like the blog so far… also if you’ve got a question for me just ask away and I’ll do my best to answer it.