all that glitters is gold

“Way down yonder in NEW ORLEANS . In the land of dreamy scenes. There’s a garden of Eden. You know what I mean.” — Louis Armstrong

Is everyone excited for the holidays? If we’re being real and inclusive then the holidays really already started December 1st was the first day of JEWISH 8 DAYS OF OIL HOLIDAY (it’s famous).

I’ll be in NEW ORLEANS for the holidays as usual. Last year the family went to London to celebrate my parents 25th-anniversary-of-not-killing-each-other-while-living-on-the-under-the-same-roof. It was cold and dreary (thanks ENGLAND). And we missed the annual FAMILY LAST NAME tradition (going strong after three years, The Annual Christmas Eve Party at the FAMILY LAST NAME, which consists of my mom inviting 3 people + family and having tons of party food and a random ham my Nana thinks needs to be there. My sisters and i just look embarrassed at the lack of guests.

This year my middle sister and I are going to wear festive holiday sweaters to keep up us warm and entertained for five minutes. I purchased “classy” versus “classic” holiday sweaters at a LOS ANGELES thrift store on Melrose (they had tons at AMERICAN VINTAGE). Look for an example below:

"CLASSIC TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

"CLASSY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

Do you see what I mean now? these are two very different kinds of sweaters, and I’d be very offended if someone thought the one on the right was the same as the one on the left.  how did i get these words here?

Now that we’ve got that cleared up (thankfully) on to more important & pressing needs.

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"I HEART NOLA Shotgun (one of a kind)"

“I HEART NOLA SHOTGUN (one of a kind)” can be purchased at my ETSY SHOP. This colored pencil drawing is just one of many new items in my shop. I have new paintings and holiday ornaments like the ones below!

"SAINTS Holiday Ornament (one of a kind)" & "NOLA Orange Ornament (one of a kind)"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. have you been able to find any great chimps in a holiday sweater for the season? Cause I can’t find a single one!!! NOT ONE – Lex (from Newport, MA)

It’s been difficult. Very trying actually! TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATERS = hilarious & CHIMPS DOING ANYTHING = hilarious, so you’d think that sweaters + chimps = GOLDMINE. I know, I know. These two pics were the closest I came to finding our dream pictures!

Puppet Monkeys Dressed for the Season - this is disappointing

Imagine that this adorable little chimp had a holiday element to it. maybe those white dots are SNOW!!

I couldn't resist! It is a GREEN sweater/hoodie with a dogggggy!

2. KATNAWLINS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LITTLE DOGS DRESSED UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS? – Vince (from Jakarta, Indonesia)

I think it’s cute. More cute than I should because I also think it looks absolutely stupid. I totally understand from a place of warmth. If you have a dog that has hair instead of fur (i.e. poodles, schnoodles, cockapoos (anything with poodle in it basically) then to keep this animal warm in cold climates something like a doggy sweater or coat is good.

How cute I find the picture is determined by how awesome the dog feels in said picture.

Exhibit A: This schnoodle LOVES their sweater & their owner. Couldn't be more stylish if it tried!

Exhibit B: This pug hates his life & loves his owner (cause all dogs love their owners unless the last name is VICK).

You can also be impressed that both pictures involve HOLIDAY SWEATERS (and one is an example of classy and the other an example of tacky).

3. How about dem boys? You think we gonna two dat? – Flex (from Alexandria, LA)

I would loooooovvvvvvvvveeeee to play the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and BEAT EM!! How awesome would that be if we could beat Manning and Brady in back to back Super Bowls. It’d say a lot about us and for Drew Brees!

So, yes I think we can definitely TWO DAT (for those not a SAINTS fan it just means WIN THE SUPERBOWL). In order to make our lives easier it’d be great to get no. 1 seed in the NFC playoffs, but that will be hard with the dirty birds playing so competently. I do think we can beat them in the Georgiadome. We’re much better than we were when we first played them back in week 3. It’s going to be tough, but we’ve been done this road before and have been VICTORIOUS!

That’s it for now, y’all. HAVE A FABULOUS HOLIDAY, and I’ll see you in 2011 (damn this place is getting mad old!!).

Extraordinary histories, ordinary histories, ordinary histories

“Way down yonder in New Orleans/In the land of dreamy scenes/There’s a garden of Eden/You know what I mean.” — Louis Armstrong

So, yesterday my NEW ORLEANS SAINTS took a real unexpected beating from the cleveland browns (1-4, now 2-4). The browns were thirteen point underdogs. It was a very tough game to watch. We played with little to no urgency, and just real sloppy. I can’t blame defense who actually played very well. But the offense again was just really not on point (I guess “Super Bowl Hangover” is a real thing).

OKAY OKAY OKAY. What the hell. GUYS, I have an amazing video to show you. It’s sooooo weird (and blessedly short). It features my beloved CHIMP + DOG loves in one place with moving picture and sound. This very strange, and so with no further ado I give you:

I  know… weird, right? Epically strange yet you smiled, right? A real genuine, I GET IT SMILE. Right? Then you immediately regretted smiling because that chimp is an ass hole.  I’m not going to tell you all the weird reasons why I had that video in my knowledge bank (aka brain). That’s highly classified information, but it was there, and it was AWESOME.

What else do I have to share with y’all? I’m tired. Can’t  you tell by how lazily this post has been written? If I’m going to try to write in her at least twice a week then you have to give me a break. WHAT? MY POSTS WEREN’T THAT GREAT TO BEGIN WITH? Wow, okay! I try, guys. I can’t poop gems every time I sit in front of my computer (that’s okay, I don’t think ANYONE wants that for you or those sitting around you and your computer). Also to be fair to everyone involved with this. I don’t think you want me writing long ass posts every time either. Who has the time to read them much less write these, babies? That’s what I thought.

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"I HEART St. Louis Cathedral (One of a Kind Painting)"

This painting is an homage to one of the most famous landmarks in NEW ORLEANS, LA. St. Louis Cathedral in the French Quarter. My parents were married in this here landmark back in January 1985. It’s pretty, right? The actual cathedral, not my painting. Y’all, I’m not that vain.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. You never talk about the acting thing on here anymore? remember that long boring auditioning post you made almost a year ago? cause i do. that thing was whack! – willy (from Zeppelin, SD).

You know what’s whack? South Dakota, BOOOYYYYAAAAHHHHH. You walked right into that one, Willy. Sorry. I’m still doing the acting thing, but mostly through my various improv endeavors. I’m still currently studying the Harold (a long-form version of improv that is sucking all my brain juices).  I am also performing in a show with some people in North Hollywood on November 2nd. Doing the audition thing and what not. I’ll keep y’all posted when I become famous of course the irony being is that I’ll be too famous for this blog. I’ll be WAY TOO BIG. Oh, the little people, I’ll always forget you (hahahahhahahahahhaha).

2. I’m a big dog lover! And I love that you are, too. Tell me what is your favorite breed? Mine are Poodles. – Lavender (from Frankford, CT)

YAY I love that some of my readers love dogs just as much as I do. That is a difficult question. Maybe one of the most difficult questions a normal-every day-regular person can be asked. But I’ll get it a whirl. Just because to make this easy for everyone (and really just myself). I’ll say golden retrievers are my favorite breed. But I love most dogs and I love muts a lot, too. But since I was a kid I always wanted a golden retriever. Then in my junior year of high school my parents got me on for my Christmas present (every five year old’s favorite xmas gift). Her name is Kara, and she still lives with my family in New Orleans with three other canine pals including her boyfriend, Buckley.

Here Kara is with her boyfriend, Buckley (the large white doggy) and her bestfriend and sister, Heidi (the little schnoodle in the background)

3. What are you doing for Halloween? – Nelly (from Jacksonville, FL)

I am watching the SAINTS hopefully pummel the pittsburgh steelers on my television set with my youngest sister (aka the manager) when she visits me in Los Angeles this coming weekend. I know you’re mad jealous of my Halloween plans. Guess what they can be yours, too (if you own a television or the desire).

That’s all for today, y’all. Keep it up! WHO DAT!

where the sun strikes, it is golden

For now on I’m going to begin each blog post with a little QUOTE by famous folks about NEW ORLEANS. You’re welcome!

“Don’t you just love those long rainy afternoons in NEW ORLEANS when an hour isn’t just an hour – but a little piece of eternity dropped into your hands – and who knows what to do with it?” — Tennessee Williams

Early Happy Halloween. Let’s get it started at my blog with this new colored pencil mixed media drawing, “NOLA Halloween Shotgun (one of a kind)”

 

"NOLA Halloween Shotgun (one of a kind)"

I’m glad we were able to get that bit of self-promotion out of the way. It’s for the best.

I had no idea what to talk about. I really didn’t. When I woke up this morning brimming with ideas of how the day would go. 1. wake up 2. brush teeth 3. clean face 5. brush thick mane of hair 4. make-up 5. get dressed 6. eat breakfast 7. drive to work 8. WORK. I never thought about what to write in my blog. I can always fall back on the usual topics: nothing, art, New Orleans, or nada. The thing driving my day today is PMS. Yes, the old pre-menopausal syndrome mess that women hate, and that men hate & no nothing about it.

I have two male readers, so I first thought about them, and how awkward this conversation may make them feel. But then because I am in fact PMSing I don’t really care how they feel. They can get the fuck over it. When I have PMS I’m not extra emotional. I just feel more tired, more bitchy, more annoyed, and have a huge head ache (that hurts worse and worse throughout the day with the most bull shit I have to contend with, SURPRISE SURPRISE!).

Being a woman is already annoying enough. I was about to start listing all the stuff as women we have to put up with between the naturally unfair things (periods & pain of childbirth) & institutionalized sexism & the beauty myth, and so on and so forth, but I am too tired and annoyed to even get into all of that today. And I didn’t want those legitimate injustices to be chalked up as, “she’s just pmsing!”

I don’t have bad PMS every time I’m about to start my monthly female duties. Which is extremely kind of my body to sometimes let me have a break, but what happens is that I endure quite a bad case every three months. Like my hormonal explosion of UGH saves itself up and unleashes itself all at one time, which is not really really fair to me either. I’m not a violent person, but when this happens I don’t want to be touched. Everything and anything can set me off. I’m totally on edge. If someone says something stupid or ignorant I pounce whereas other times I can somewhat ignore it just not listen to what they’re saying until I hear a change of subject. When I feel like this I need to yell at them, and I want to punch them. Me punch someone? I don’t even know how to hit someone.

How about you Ladies? What frequently do you experience all out PMS? What are your symptoms?

Before we head into “Die-Hard Fan” section of my blog let’s end the body on a happpy/upbeat note. Even in my current state I can appreciate silly things. It’s what keeps me going.

Bestfriends for Life: They're Just Like Us

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. You seem to mostly feature primates in your blog. Why is that? – Harry (from Westport, PA).

I feature mostly my own artwork on my blog. I think you mean when I show silly pictures it’s usually chimps or orangutans or gorillas, right? I just love them. They’re closely related to us (humans… if aliens or a salamander is reading this, I didn’t mean to be exclusive). I also feature a lot of dogs, too since they are my favorite animal. Of course I try to feature as many primate & doggy combos as I possibly can and as often as I can. These are two awesome and intelligent species that also happen to have a million ridiculous photos of on the internet, and I love exploiting that.

2. Kat- do you think the SAINTS have a chance of repeating? Thanks. – Drew (from New Orleans, LA)

I hardly ever have people from NOLA write me questions. This was a nice surprise in my inbox. Y’all this isn’t Drew Brees writing in to my blog either, so please calm down. There are many Drews’ in New Orleans. Back to the question:  I am biased of course. I think the NFC is pretty weak this year. Whereas last year I’d argue we were (like I’m part of the NFC) stronger and more competitive than the AFC. Everyone knows what NFL stands for, right? NOT FOR LONG. So, this year because the NFC is so weak I think we have a great chance of repeating at least as NFC Champions. We gotta keep playing like we did last week against Tampa Bay, and we gotta WIN the games we’re supposed to win. Our schedule for the rest of the season isn’t that hard. There are three tough games left, and we win the games we’re supposed to win even if we lost those tough games our record would be 11-5. Not bad at all. It’s doable! WHO DAT!