BRING EM TO THE DOME

“We used to say ‘Who dat’ since way back when / Now we’re saying ‘We dat’ every time we win / You can write it down, take a picture, tell a friend / We already done it. We’re gonna do it again” — Rebirth Brass Band

I’m all kinds of happy. I’m sitting here with a sore throat, but with a glow of happiness from last night’s tight game between the NEW ORLEANS #SAINTS against our biggest foes the dirty birds (aka the atlanta falcons). We’re battling it for NFC and NFC South supremacy.

I’ll keep the SAINTS talk to a minimum since I know some of my readers don’t like/care about football. Let’s put it this way. Last nights game took some of the dirty birds swagger away, and nothing bad about that, y’all.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holidays. Mine have been very nice and chill (too many times i’ve been hungover, but that is what NEW ORLEANS is for I guess.

Happy Holidays! Imagine that this amazing SANTA APE is singing, "All I Want for Christmas is for the SAINTS to go the Superbowl"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. my favorite thing about your blog are not your words or your humor (cause neither make much sense). what keeps me coming back for more are the pics of monkeys you find. keep em coming! – cici  (from tonka, NJ)

That’s a weird compliment mixed with not so nice things. I’m with you on the monkey/ape pics. I love them clearly. I spent hours of my life trolling the internet looking for these pictures. HOURS! Here is a new cute one I’d say.

I'm trying to figure it out, too

This chimp is wiser than us all. He can write with BOTH HANDS! BOTH! Amazing!

2. yyyyyyyooo mami! I LOVE your new layout. Looks great. Really enjoy the new banner. – Darren (from San Diego, CA)

Thank you, Darren. This might just be one of the nicest things said to me of all things said to me on my blog.

3. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON THIS PIC BELOW. NO IDEA! NONE! HELP! – Bea (from Philadelphia, PA)

Everyone Deserves to be Loved

I see how you may be confused by this picture, but luckily I’m an expert in chimp picture behavior. First look this picture seems very cute/sweet, and even romantic because it’s in black and white. However, if you are truly paying attention you notice that one chimp is in fact tying the other chimp up in a sexually suggestive way. I think there is true love and respect here, but I also think there is high kink here, too. They really are just like us!

That’s all for today y’all! WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS… can’t wait for the playoffs. TWO DAT! I’ll be in the SUPERDOME for the last game of the regular season on January 2nd! I’ll be drunk probs, but also excited to see my boos!

put a twenty dollar gold piece on my watch chain

“In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are the two most interesting food towns. In New Orleans, they don’t have a bad deli. There’s no mediocrity accepted.” — Mario Batali

No. 16 Lance Moore scores the final TOUCHDOWN of the SAINTS game against the steelers. final score: 20-10. WHO DAT

We did it, Y’ALL! We beat no. 1 ranked Pittsburgh Steelers. I can’t call it a comeback yet because we need some consistency, but last night’s game in the superdome was a BIG WIN for us. A BIG WIN!

In other news, my youngest sister/manager (she was interviewed in this post) came in town this week to do some much needed college touring and interviewing. So, I played personal chauffeur to her needs this weekend. Every single need this girl had I had to obey. She would say I didn’t really do that. By the end of the visit she was for sure sick of me, and at one point even had the AUDACITY to kick me out of my own living room because I was “annoying her.” OUCH! She eventually forgave me, and allowed me to re-enter my own abode, but it was tense for an hour.

Surely, y'all remember my manager. She is a lil dumpling, she is!

The great thing about my little sister is her sense of humor. She has a way with words and a way with insults. On of our family trip to London Town. She told me, “Your face is my bidet” (for Americans who may not know what that is: it’s a plumbing device to wash one’s ass with after they dropped the kids off at the pool (aka poop)).

This trip was no disappointment. We walked into our hotel room in Orange, CA.

Me: Wow, I thought this HOTEL FRANCHISE was fancier.

Sister: What do you expect for $13.00 a night?

Me: That was just for the parking.

She also told me that she raised me more than my own mother did. My sister is six years my junior.  I also realize these things may not be that funny for y’all because you don’t know her and maybe you don’t have a sense of humor. I get it!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. i’m glad to see you are regularly posting. I guess you’re sort of sick of hearing that, but take it as a compliment.  Have you seen this picture. I saw it and immediately thought of you. Immediately. — Pepe (from Paris, France)

Pic Included w/ Question: isn't this great?

Thanks, Pepe. I love my internal fans the second most. Y’all are great, and let me just say that your English is pretty good. Not anything to write home about, but pretty good. Now take that as a compliment. As for the pic it’s adorable! ADORABLE. Is it funny? No. Why did this make you think of me? Because of the primate connection. I’m not that easy to figure out. Nice try, frenchie. How about this pic for hilarity (must bring expectations down a bit).

You gave me cute I RAISE you absurd!

2. Happy ALL SAINTS DAY! The anniversary when the New Orleans Saints were formed! Great win last night couldn’t have come at a better time. – Dana (from Baton Rouge, LA)

Agreed. Not sure what else to say to that. I agree, soooooooooooooooo WHO DAT!
That’s all for now!

ACTING PLUG: By the way I’ll be on  CBS, The Doctors tomorrow. Check out your local listings to see me on TV. If you’re like but what’s you name? I think it’s going to be PRETTY obvious who I am. My segment has Mardi Gras floats and Jazz music playing. You’ll know me when you hear it.

futile devices

I’m looking around for a new place to blog. wordpress… i don’t know. i don’t love the layout here. i’m using that as my excuse as to why i don’t write in here nearly enough. it’s the AESTHETIC! not me, so in other words. IT’S YOU, not me. right?

but in the meanwhile. and because i’m working a 9 to 6 job again. i will probably be writing in here more often, or at least in whatever version of a blog i find and like better. hahahahaha! i was thinking for awhile of just having my blog hook up right to my website. crazy, right? but that way i could design my blog for myself! and so no more bitching about it really. i’d just handle it myself. STRONG WORDS.

i keep my blog pretty care-free. pretty conversational overall, BUT this entry seems even more. is it because it’s towards the end of the day of work (did the syntax make sense there?). i barely do anything all day at work, and i’m pooped and loopey. HOW DO DOCTORS WHO WORK 48HOUR SHIFTS DO IT? and should they?

Let’s do some self-promotion!

So, now at my SHOP. I have introduced HIGH QUALITY GICLEE PRINTS for your buying pleasure, reader (that’s YOU). Right I have three of pieces in print form on 6″x8″ high quality paper.  I plan on putting more of my pieces in various sizes on Katnawlins Shop soon.

6x8 Chief New Saint Joseph's Suit PRINT

The three new PRINTS are Chief New Saint Joseph’s Suit (seen above), Creole Girl with a Pearl Earring, and Fleur de Elephant.

Also many of you wonder what I do while I’m at work. Well, I’m a receptionist right now. So I mostly answer phones, greet people and do a bit of data research. Thanks for asking, nosiy posey! I also doodle and chat with friends. Below I’ve included such a doodle completed moments ago on a POST-IT note. check it out!

 

Dooooooooooooodle TIZZZZZYY

On to everyone’s favorite part.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. How long have you had this blog? I feel like it’s been awhile even if you barely write in it.  – Harrison (From Portsmith, MN)

That’s a fabulous question, Harrison. It’s been a year and FOUR DAYS. That’s right I started this here blog October 14, 2009. Strange right? My writing to the public has straddled over two different decades! CRAZY!

2. Hi, I’m not sure you used “straddled” correctly in the above answer to question no. 1. How I even know you did such a thing I know is sketchy, but I do know what I know, and I ain’t going back to how things used to be. I can’t and I won’t. To make this question/comment seem even slightly necessarily, I’ve included a picture for your collection. Enjoy, freak! — Amanda (from Joshua Tree, CA)

MONKEY BUSINESS. MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

Amanda, damn okay I get it. I’m horrible with the English Language, but why why do you find the need to be so condescending mixed with random weird rambling? What good could that possi– oh my god, you are giving me a taste of my own medicine. Good one, Amanda. Good one. Hats to you, hats to you! And I love the picture OF COURSE! It’s ironic and not just for hipsters, but for everyone! Every American gets it. Democrazy (hahahaha POLITICAL HUMOR)

 

That’s it for today, folks. Calm down! I love you all and some of  you are OK-AY, and others are just AL-RIGHT.

Santa Claus is Dead… Yeah, well so is Nietzsche!

Happy, Happy, Happpppppy HOLIDAYS, y’all. Can you believe that we’re in the last month of the year, and we look this cute?

I’m not afraid to admit in this blog that I used to love Christmas. I’m not above that. I guess who doesn’t like Christmas (not everyone celebrates it, Katie, but  Jews who sometimes do for the fun of it). There is a baby (jesus, y’all), presents (capitalism, check!), dreams (childhood, yes!), food (holiday weight, thanks!), and outrageous expectations (life!). So, it’s clear at the age of 23 why Christmas doesn’t have the same impact on me anymore (less presents).

When I was 6 I found out the truth. It was on the playground of all (seemingly innocent) places, and this little red-headed bitch had the nerve to drop the largest bomb of my very young, privileged life. She had the audacity (one of my favorite words) to say there was no Santa… no Rudolph no nothing. I did the Home Alone clutch my face and scream. How long did I scream? I don’t remember cause I passed the fuck out.

The worse part was now I had to carry this secret with me. This  green&scarlet letter permanently scaring my brain. At the time my sister Elle was four (so young and innocent) and my Manager was like literally a baby like Jesus (she was my manager even then though. powerful shit in her baby formula). Every holiday season post six years old was like a real kick into my gut because I had to keep acting like the fat man was real. It was insulting. On top of the secrets and deception I kept and told my sisters I still stayed to all strange hours in the night waiting to open presents from mom and dad NOT from Santa. This is what Christmas always looked like at my house:

Sister trying to open her present (Left) and Me (Right) trying to get at her present after I've devoured my gifts in moments... it's hard to be older and stronger. And I guess that's my dad in the background making that weirdo face

By the way, my middle sister didn’t find out the real truth about Santa Claus till she was NINE, which means I kept that promise not tell her for FIVE, long hard years. It was devastating (that’s what she said, hahahahahah). This secret dissolved any any soul I had to begin with. I honestly don’t remember when the manager found out (manager, do you recall)?

Self-Promotion Time

"Bohemian NOLA Shotgun (One of a Kind)"

I have a new 18×24 piece up in SHOP. I just sold the “Who Dat Shotgun” as well. So all is going well at the shop, but could always be better so come on down, y’all!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Katnawlins! Love the blog always read it! I have a serious question for you: How are you spending this holiday? In your beloved New Orleans or in Los Angeles. – Frederic II (from Dillon, TX)

Hi Frederic, thanks for the blog love. I really appreciate it! I am spending a good chunk of the holiday in cheerie ole’ London (my first time out of the country in all of my 23 wise years on this here planet) and the other half in New Orleans to recover from London and New Orleans New Years Eve.

2. It’s the holidays, so I’m wondering what you celebrate Christmas or Chihuahua? Like the blog, but don’t love it yet. With time. – Zed (from Salmon, OR)

Thanks, Zed? I think you meant Chanukah (or Hanukkah) and not chihuahua, but I make spelling errors alllll the time so who am I to talk? You left out a million other celebrations that happen this time of year. If you must know (or now know from this entry of my blog) that I celebrated Christmas growing up, but because I’m half-jewish we ignorantly had a menorah on the Christmas dinner table (including the rare time it snowed on Christmas day in New Orleans in 2004 for forty-five minutes… tsunamis in southeastern asia happened hours  later and Katrina months later, so never was the menorah placed on the Christmas table again).

3. Tell me as a SAINTS fan you have seen this video? It’s hi-larious and pretty insulting to the people of south eastern Louisiana. Here is the video. GEAUX SAINTS! (Luxe from Baton Rouge, LA)

Haha, yes I have seen the video and I even put it up on my facebook status because it’s just soo ridiculous. I reccomend everyone who reads my blog to see it. It’s tooo funny and terrifying all that drinking with all those firearms.

That’s it for now, folks! I hope to post before I ship off to cold-rainy-but-fun-London. If not have a great holiday whatever faith you practice or don’t practice. And if you have to work during the holiday break make sure you get that overtime, get it!

OH AND GEAUX SAINTS! 13-0!!!! AMAZING BLACK&GOLD SUPERBOWL

Receptionist is like… WOAH or like sittin’ at a desk answering a random call and signing for packages (jealous, world?)

Good Afternoon, my little chicklets! How I have missed you? It’s been awhile since a real post from me. I’ve just been busy (and not just on Farmville (I am on level 18 haha oh how lame)). I’ve been painting, drawing, going on auditions, performed at the UCB and working. And of course reading and watching everything I can about my boys, THE SAINTS (8-0, baby).

So, what am I doing toady? I am working as a receptionist for a film company best known for sparkling vampires (only clue y’all will get). Just at I type this bit of fun I overhear German Business Men speaking in German (surprise!). What are they saying? Who knows… I’m sure something German-y & Business-y. Other than that I just answer phone calls, receive packages, and call people to them their “noon is here.” It’s so exciting! Right? Right? ugh.

This is what I wish I was doing instead:

This is what I dream of doing as I sit at my lonely desk answering phone calls I could care a less about... oh to be a chimp!

But alas, I am here sitting at this desk writing to you, my loyal readers about the drudgery (word or not?) of sitting under flourescent lighting and sparkling vampires (since the trailer is on 24/7 in the lobby- sooo much longing). Really nothing interesting to report apparently there was an ambulance and cop cars downstairs earlier, someone had to come out in a stretcher. There are no windows around me, so I didn’t see this happen, but I was told by a delivery man. BREAKING NEWS, people, or breaking news for that person on the stretcher.

So, this trailer being on repeat… I have no idea what the movie is about. Whenever I look up to watch for a moment it’s a totally different scene then the one I’ve seen before. A lot going on in this one film (so many elements: wind, water, fire… the fourth element). And a girl in a scarf (that’s the scene I keep seeing by chance). Oh, and there is a lot of running. I wonder how much dialogue there actually will be with all that running. Except for the obvious “Why are you running?”, “Hurry Up!” , “Keep Running!”. “Why are we running?” , “There is a werewolf- RUN” and “Why am I running, when I can fly?” <— this is what I think about when I sit at reception.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. That orangutan looks a lot like what I picture your father to be like. Kinda hairy and always with a dog? Please elaborate on the weirdness of your paternal canine-watcher. – Elle (Berkeley, CA) or could be from OW (New Orleans, LA)

Yes, my father looks like that picture of an orangutan with a leashed dog: remember it’s here. Which is why I chose that picture because it reminded me a lot of my father, which I believe was the point. My father loves his three daughters, but he loves his four dogs perhaps a bit more. He considers his four canine pals to be his children as well as his companions while he stays at home all day painting and answering the doorbell for UPS (my mother receives many packages). His favorite dog would probably be the schnoodle, Heidi (ten pounds of delight) who makes him carry her everywhere. Though he loves his new son (and only son) very much, Buckley, the german shepard-mix we rescued from El Paso, TX back in August. He loves those dogs as much as he’ll hate this answer.

2. luv the blog, but hate the DMV- how did it go? - Chuck (from Baltimore, MD)

Hi Chuck, thank you and I hate the DMV, too. I know I said in my last blog I was going, but I ended up having to post-pone that trip to later this month. I am going to the DMV to get a California license as well as needing to register my car in California (to get Cali license  plates). Wish me luck, please!

3. You do improv? what type? long form or short? any stand up? a comedy fan. keep up the good work. – Jasper (Louisville, KY

Thanks, Jasper. I just completed my first level class of improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade and look forward for 201 level in January. I prefer watching and performing long form, but I think short form is a great way to warm up, and can be a lot of fun. I don’t do stand up currently, but as soon as I gets the balls to do it I figure why not try it out. Thank you. How is the comedy scene in Louisville?