all that glitters is gold

“Way down yonder in NEW ORLEANS . In the land of dreamy scenes. There’s a garden of Eden. You know what I mean.” — Louis Armstrong

Is everyone excited for the holidays? If we’re being real and inclusive then the holidays really already started December 1st was the first day of JEWISH 8 DAYS OF OIL HOLIDAY (it’s famous).

I’ll be in NEW ORLEANS for the holidays as usual. Last year the family went to London to celebrate my parents 25th-anniversary-of-not-killing-each-other-while-living-on-the-under-the-same-roof. It was cold and dreary (thanks ENGLAND). And we missed the annual FAMILY LAST NAME tradition (going strong after three years, The Annual Christmas Eve Party at the FAMILY LAST NAME, which consists of my mom inviting 3 people + family and having tons of party food and a random ham my Nana thinks needs to be there. My sisters and i just look embarrassed at the lack of guests.

This year my middle sister and I are going to wear festive holiday sweaters to keep up us warm and entertained for five minutes. I purchased “classy” versus “classic” holiday sweaters at a LOS ANGELES thrift store on Melrose (they had tons at AMERICAN VINTAGE). Look for an example below:

"CLASSIC TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

"CLASSY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

Do you see what I mean now? these are two very different kinds of sweaters, and I’d be very offended if someone thought the one on the right was the same as the one on the left.  how did i get these words here?

Now that we’ve got that cleared up (thankfully) on to more important & pressing needs.

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"I HEART NOLA Shotgun (one of a kind)"

“I HEART NOLA SHOTGUN (one of a kind)” can be purchased at my ETSY SHOP. This colored pencil drawing is just one of many new items in my shop. I have new paintings and holiday ornaments like the ones below!

"SAINTS Holiday Ornament (one of a kind)" & "NOLA Orange Ornament (one of a kind)"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. have you been able to find any great chimps in a holiday sweater for the season? Cause I can’t find a single one!!! NOT ONE – Lex (from Newport, MA)

It’s been difficult. Very trying actually! TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATERS = hilarious & CHIMPS DOING ANYTHING = hilarious, so you’d think that sweaters + chimps = GOLDMINE. I know, I know. These two pics were the closest I came to finding our dream pictures!

Puppet Monkeys Dressed for the Season - this is disappointing

Imagine that this adorable little chimp had a holiday element to it. maybe those white dots are SNOW!!

I couldn't resist! It is a GREEN sweater/hoodie with a dogggggy!

2. KATNAWLINS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LITTLE DOGS DRESSED UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS? – Vince (from Jakarta, Indonesia)

I think it’s cute. More cute than I should because I also think it looks absolutely stupid. I totally understand from a place of warmth. If you have a dog that has hair instead of fur (i.e. poodles, schnoodles, cockapoos (anything with poodle in it basically) then to keep this animal warm in cold climates something like a doggy sweater or coat is good.

How cute I find the picture is determined by how awesome the dog feels in said picture.

Exhibit A: This schnoodle LOVES their sweater & their owner. Couldn't be more stylish if it tried!

Exhibit B: This pug hates his life & loves his owner (cause all dogs love their owners unless the last name is VICK).

You can also be impressed that both pictures involve HOLIDAY SWEATERS (and one is an example of classy and the other an example of tacky).

3. How about dem boys? You think we gonna two dat? – Flex (from Alexandria, LA)

I would loooooovvvvvvvvveeeee to play the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and BEAT EM!! How awesome would that be if we could beat Manning and Brady in back to back Super Bowls. It’d say a lot about us and for Drew Brees!

So, yes I think we can definitely TWO DAT (for those not a SAINTS fan it just means WIN THE SUPERBOWL). In order to make our lives easier it’d be great to get no. 1 seed in the NFC playoffs, but that will be hard with the dirty birds playing so competently. I do think we can beat them in the Georgiadome. We’re much better than we were when we first played them back in week 3. It’s going to be tough, but we’ve been done this road before and have been VICTORIOUS!

That’s it for now, y’all. HAVE A FABULOUS HOLIDAY, and I’ll see you in 2011 (damn this place is getting mad old!!).

put a twenty dollar gold piece on my watch chain

“In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are the two most interesting food towns. In New Orleans, they don’t have a bad deli. There’s no mediocrity accepted.” — Mario Batali

No. 16 Lance Moore scores the final TOUCHDOWN of the SAINTS game against the steelers. final score: 20-10. WHO DAT

We did it, Y’ALL! We beat no. 1 ranked Pittsburgh Steelers. I can’t call it a comeback yet because we need some consistency, but last night’s game in the superdome was a BIG WIN for us. A BIG WIN!

In other news, my youngest sister/manager (she was interviewed in this post) came in town this week to do some much needed college touring and interviewing. So, I played personal chauffeur to her needs this weekend. Every single need this girl had I had to obey. She would say I didn’t really do that. By the end of the visit she was for sure sick of me, and at one point even had the AUDACITY to kick me out of my own living room because I was “annoying her.” OUCH! She eventually forgave me, and allowed me to re-enter my own abode, but it was tense for an hour.

Surely, y'all remember my manager. She is a lil dumpling, she is!

The great thing about my little sister is her sense of humor. She has a way with words and a way with insults. On of our family trip to London Town. She told me, “Your face is my bidet” (for Americans who may not know what that is: it’s a plumbing device to wash one’s ass with after they dropped the kids off at the pool (aka poop)).

This trip was no disappointment. We walked into our hotel room in Orange, CA.

Me: Wow, I thought this HOTEL FRANCHISE was fancier.

Sister: What do you expect for $13.00 a night?

Me: That was just for the parking.

She also told me that she raised me more than my own mother did. My sister is six years my junior.  I also realize these things may not be that funny for y’all because you don’t know her and maybe you don’t have a sense of humor. I get it!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. i’m glad to see you are regularly posting. I guess you’re sort of sick of hearing that, but take it as a compliment.  Have you seen this picture. I saw it and immediately thought of you. Immediately. — Pepe (from Paris, France)

Pic Included w/ Question: isn't this great?

Thanks, Pepe. I love my internal fans the second most. Y’all are great, and let me just say that your English is pretty good. Not anything to write home about, but pretty good. Now take that as a compliment. As for the pic it’s adorable! ADORABLE. Is it funny? No. Why did this make you think of me? Because of the primate connection. I’m not that easy to figure out. Nice try, frenchie. How about this pic for hilarity (must bring expectations down a bit).

You gave me cute I RAISE you absurd!

2. Happy ALL SAINTS DAY! The anniversary when the New Orleans Saints were formed! Great win last night couldn’t have come at a better time. – Dana (from Baton Rouge, LA)

Agreed. Not sure what else to say to that. I agree, soooooooooooooooo WHO DAT!
That’s all for now!

ACTING PLUG: By the way I’ll be on  CBS, The Doctors tomorrow. Check out your local listings to see me on TV. If you’re like but what’s you name? I think it’s going to be PRETTY obvious who I am. My segment has Mardi Gras floats and Jazz music playing. You’ll know me when you hear it.

where the sun strikes, it is golden

For now on I’m going to begin each blog post with a little QUOTE by famous folks about NEW ORLEANS. You’re welcome!

“Don’t you just love those long rainy afternoons in NEW ORLEANS when an hour isn’t just an hour – but a little piece of eternity dropped into your hands – and who knows what to do with it?” — Tennessee Williams

Early Happy Halloween. Let’s get it started at my blog with this new colored pencil mixed media drawing, “NOLA Halloween Shotgun (one of a kind)”

 

"NOLA Halloween Shotgun (one of a kind)"

I’m glad we were able to get that bit of self-promotion out of the way. It’s for the best.

I had no idea what to talk about. I really didn’t. When I woke up this morning brimming with ideas of how the day would go. 1. wake up 2. brush teeth 3. clean face 5. brush thick mane of hair 4. make-up 5. get dressed 6. eat breakfast 7. drive to work 8. WORK. I never thought about what to write in my blog. I can always fall back on the usual topics: nothing, art, New Orleans, or nada. The thing driving my day today is PMS. Yes, the old pre-menopausal syndrome mess that women hate, and that men hate & no nothing about it.

I have two male readers, so I first thought about them, and how awkward this conversation may make them feel. But then because I am in fact PMSing I don’t really care how they feel. They can get the fuck over it. When I have PMS I’m not extra emotional. I just feel more tired, more bitchy, more annoyed, and have a huge head ache (that hurts worse and worse throughout the day with the most bull shit I have to contend with, SURPRISE SURPRISE!).

Being a woman is already annoying enough. I was about to start listing all the stuff as women we have to put up with between the naturally unfair things (periods & pain of childbirth) & institutionalized sexism & the beauty myth, and so on and so forth, but I am too tired and annoyed to even get into all of that today. And I didn’t want those legitimate injustices to be chalked up as, “she’s just pmsing!”

I don’t have bad PMS every time I’m about to start my monthly female duties. Which is extremely kind of my body to sometimes let me have a break, but what happens is that I endure quite a bad case every three months. Like my hormonal explosion of UGH saves itself up and unleashes itself all at one time, which is not really really fair to me either. I’m not a violent person, but when this happens I don’t want to be touched. Everything and anything can set me off. I’m totally on edge. If someone says something stupid or ignorant I pounce whereas other times I can somewhat ignore it just not listen to what they’re saying until I hear a change of subject. When I feel like this I need to yell at them, and I want to punch them. Me punch someone? I don’t even know how to hit someone.

How about you Ladies? What frequently do you experience all out PMS? What are your symptoms?

Before we head into “Die-Hard Fan” section of my blog let’s end the body on a happpy/upbeat note. Even in my current state I can appreciate silly things. It’s what keeps me going.

Bestfriends for Life: They're Just Like Us

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. You seem to mostly feature primates in your blog. Why is that? – Harry (from Westport, PA).

I feature mostly my own artwork on my blog. I think you mean when I show silly pictures it’s usually chimps or orangutans or gorillas, right? I just love them. They’re closely related to us (humans… if aliens or a salamander is reading this, I didn’t mean to be exclusive). I also feature a lot of dogs, too since they are my favorite animal. Of course I try to feature as many primate & doggy combos as I possibly can and as often as I can. These are two awesome and intelligent species that also happen to have a million ridiculous photos of on the internet, and I love exploiting that.

2. Kat- do you think the SAINTS have a chance of repeating? Thanks. – Drew (from New Orleans, LA)

I hardly ever have people from NOLA write me questions. This was a nice surprise in my inbox. Y’all this isn’t Drew Brees writing in to my blog either, so please calm down. There are many Drews’ in New Orleans. Back to the question:  I am biased of course. I think the NFC is pretty weak this year. Whereas last year I’d argue we were (like I’m part of the NFC) stronger and more competitive than the AFC. Everyone knows what NFL stands for, right? NOT FOR LONG. So, this year because the NFC is so weak I think we have a great chance of repeating at least as NFC Champions. We gotta keep playing like we did last week against Tampa Bay, and we gotta WIN the games we’re supposed to win. Our schedule for the rest of the season isn’t that hard. There are three tough games left, and we win the games we’re supposed to win even if we lost those tough games our record would be 11-5. Not bad at all. It’s doable! WHO DAT!

We’ve Been Here Before

Yo, Yo, Ho, Ho… I can’t figure what spirit I’m in. Holiday? Or what. I’m in very good spirits about the SAINTS obviously (12-0, almost barely, but some vooodoo and luck can’t hurt when you are a SAINT).

As always let’s get the self-promotion out of the way first. I drew/painted a new piece called, “WHO DAT SHOTGUN” in honor of my  love and pride for THE SAINTS. It’s 18″x24″ so by far my largest piece on sale. Check it out here:

My new piece you can find at, Katnawlin's Shop on Etsy

oh this is my favorite part of the piece:

Now let’s get to the juicy stuff. I like having a blog obviously, but it is limiting. I can’t talk about everything I would like to (Hi, Dad!) because internet. The very thing that allows me to have a blog restricts my ability to blog. I’m not talking about the ability to even connect to the internet, but rather there are just of lot of people I would like to talk about, and it would be very easy for them to find where I have told an embarrassing story about them. To be far the story would humiliate me as much as the other guilty/innocent party(ies). This is just a cold hard fact about the new age, which is why since the summer I have been writing my faux-memoir (because who at 23 should have a memoir unless you were boy solider or a drug mule at six, and I was only quarter of those things).

What are you talking about, Katnawlins?? Very good point italicized random questioner. I’m just saying I have so many tales of trobs for you that you wouldn’t believe, and I’m sure you would be shocked and horrified by, but in order to mostly protect the guilty I’ll refrain from sharing such tales. So, nothing juicy to share with you kind readers as I would love to.

I can share this video/song with you. It’s by Lily Allen, and it’s called “Not Fair,” and I’ve been listening to it a lot lately. It can say more about my life than I can. Ultimately, this song is not just about her partner’s inability to satisfy her sexually as much as his reluctance to. At first he seems like “Mr. Perfect”:hence the lines:

Oh he treats me with respect

He says he loves me all the time
He calls me 15 times a day
He likes to make sure that I’m fine

He seems perfect and you find out he doesn’t “make her scream” in bed.  Many women can relate (men, too), but what I find the most relevant is the act he’s putting on, which is why in the song she sings, “It’s not fair/ And I think you’re really mean/ Oh you’re supposed to care/ But you never make me scream.” He’s only nice to her because he wants to sleep with her, and not interested enough in making sure she is enjoying herself.

Okay.. not to leave this blog entry on such a sour note. Watch my friend, Michael‘s amazing dance troupe recent show, Elemental on youtube.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Sooooo your boys [the saints] had a crazy, crazy game on sunday. weirdest game i’ve seen in some time. between the interception-interception play among brees, moore (redskin) and meachem (saint) to suisham missing that beyond easy field goal that brought your boys new life. So, my question is what do you think happened more the redskins lost or the saints won?  – George (from Salt Lake City, UT)

Hi George, you’re the first person from Utah to write in a question so exciting for me. Yeah, it was a very, very strange game and I’ll say we got more lucky than anything. Ultimately, I think the Red Skins dropped the ball so to speak. Jim Zorn should have gone for the 4th down, and trusted his offense could have made a touchdown (our D had been suffering all day, mad injuries). Instead, he picked the more conservative choice and went for the easy points with a field goal except as everyone knows the field goal was no good, and the rest is history. I’m going to go with a little bit of both because the Saints kept fighting all game, and they easily could have just said “you win some, you lose some,” and called it day, but they kept fighting, and that’s what champions do. WHO DAT!

2. You never did blog the next day about your thanksgiving. WHHHHYYY? – Colin (Redwoods, NJ)

You’re right I didn’t. Sorry. Next time I’ll try not to make promises like that. Ugh!

3. What do you think of Rihanna‘s new album? Any good songs? I’m okay with Russian Roulette. – Staci (from El Paso, TX)

Hi Staci, the album is okay. I like “Cold Case Love” a lot, but I think Justin Timberlake pens good songs for Rihanna (like “Rehab”).

You got questions for me leave them in the comments! Till later, boooos!

Who Dat? We Dat!

Salut! It’s been crazy long. So long that I’m not going to even do the math. I’m not going to apologize either. You can’t make me. Is it my fault? Well, technically, yes, since, there, are, so, many, commas, in, this, sentence. But on to more relevant and pressing news.

WHO DAT! Am I right, or am I right? I will again keep all SAINTS talk to a paragraph, but do understand I am very, soooo excited about the recent can of whoop ass they brought on the New England Patriots.

poor Tom Brady sacked... it felt so good

I think Tom Brady was in tears once he was taken out of the game with five minutes still left; the ultimate sign of defeat. Oh, and did I tell you the best part? I was AT THE GAME in the SUPERDOME! Can you believe it, loyal readers? Can you? Here is a picture:

A picture from where I was sitting! taken towards the end of the 1st half. random other nfl mascots in the frame

So, now the SAINTS are 11-0 with a real chance of going undefeated before the playoffs.

So, where have I been readers (I want y’all to know my grammar checker wanted me to correct readers with reader, does word know the truth??? It also wants me to learn how to spell grammar)? I’m still not going to apologize and I didn’t get swine flu (yet) so you don’t have to feel some sort of misplaced guilt for the constant questions of where I was at. I’ll tell you already. I was chilling in my beautiful (mostly rainy however while I was there) NEW ORLEANS for thanksgiving break, or holiday since my ass isn’t technically still in school. It’s hard to go eighteen years of “thanksgiving breaks” to all of a sudden just having “thanksgiving.”

What did I do on my break, and what did you fine loyal readers do on yours? Please share in the comment section. If you had more fun than me then I will not let your comments be published, but if had a good to okay to disastrous thanksgiving experience I will gladly enjoy reading and sharing those stories. And if they’re real all the better.

My break was fairly one of leisure I must say. It was a true vacation. Never had to do laundry or the dishes, and I was able to sort of sleep in. It was sublime. Real sublime. There were some hectic moments of course. For instance, my middle sister and I had to help our youngest sister (aka my manager) get her first bra. I can’t believe I had a manager this whole time who didn’t have sufficient support. How was she ever to support me if she couldn’t support herself? It’s real dark and lonely out there.

I’ll post again tomorrow with more updates about my thanksgiving to the Bayou!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Wow Katnawlins, way to leave your fans out in the rain with a monsoon on the way. Thanks, a lot! Where in the hell have you been? Are you coming back? – Zed (from Orange County, CA)

You right, you right! I suck. I have just been super busy. And I am a horrible person. Happy now? Calm down, you’re from the OC don’t you have better things to do like hold parties while your parents are out of town.. I don’t know anything about the OC, clearly.

2. I’m not going to ask “where are you?” because it’s none of my business, but tell me this: How amazing were the Saints against the Patriots? I mean, come on! Right? That was legend-wait for it-dairy. I was relocated by Hurricane Katrina to Florida, but I used to live in St. Bernard Parish. It’s been amazing watching our boys play like they have been. I want it to be a black & gold superbowl! – Drew (from Tampa Bay, FL)

Thanks Drew! I know for a lot of New Orleanians in the city and all over the world that this year Saint’s are super special for them (as were the 2006 Saints, who were one game away from the superbowl). There is no doubt the team this year is special, and unites a population of people that are still displaced and recovering. Keep up the enthusiasm and love for our boys.

3. Katnawlins, i know your ass is going to be bragging about the Saints beating the Patriots, but don’t act like you didn’t go to school in New England. Mad disrespectful. I’ll be the first to admit the Saints outplayed us on every facet of the game. But his game would have been different if it were played in the elements in New England. – Mikey (from Boston, MA)

Thanks, Mikey?  And if grandpa had titties he’d be grandma…  I’m pretty sure the Saints would have  won in Foxboro (unless it was snowing/sleet, then who knows) because they are just a better team than New England this season, but the score would have been closer.

Final note of the day/blog/etc:

I wish I knew what sweet nothings Bellicheck whispered in SP's ear, alas we will never know. WHO DAT

Receptionist is like… WOAH or like sittin’ at a desk answering a random call and signing for packages (jealous, world?)

Good Afternoon, my little chicklets! How I have missed you? It’s been awhile since a real post from me. I’ve just been busy (and not just on Farmville (I am on level 18 haha oh how lame)). I’ve been painting, drawing, going on auditions, performed at the UCB and working. And of course reading and watching everything I can about my boys, THE SAINTS (8-0, baby).

So, what am I doing toady? I am working as a receptionist for a film company best known for sparkling vampires (only clue y’all will get). Just at I type this bit of fun I overhear German Business Men speaking in German (surprise!). What are they saying? Who knows… I’m sure something German-y & Business-y. Other than that I just answer phone calls, receive packages, and call people to them their “noon is here.” It’s so exciting! Right? Right? ugh.

This is what I wish I was doing instead:

This is what I dream of doing as I sit at my lonely desk answering phone calls I could care a less about... oh to be a chimp!

But alas, I am here sitting at this desk writing to you, my loyal readers about the drudgery (word or not?) of sitting under flourescent lighting and sparkling vampires (since the trailer is on 24/7 in the lobby- sooo much longing). Really nothing interesting to report apparently there was an ambulance and cop cars downstairs earlier, someone had to come out in a stretcher. There are no windows around me, so I didn’t see this happen, but I was told by a delivery man. BREAKING NEWS, people, or breaking news for that person on the stretcher.

So, this trailer being on repeat… I have no idea what the movie is about. Whenever I look up to watch for a moment it’s a totally different scene then the one I’ve seen before. A lot going on in this one film (so many elements: wind, water, fire… the fourth element). And a girl in a scarf (that’s the scene I keep seeing by chance). Oh, and there is a lot of running. I wonder how much dialogue there actually will be with all that running. Except for the obvious “Why are you running?”, “Hurry Up!” , “Keep Running!”. “Why are we running?” , “There is a werewolf- RUN” and “Why am I running, when I can fly?” <— this is what I think about when I sit at reception.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. That orangutan looks a lot like what I picture your father to be like. Kinda hairy and always with a dog? Please elaborate on the weirdness of your paternal canine-watcher. – Elle (Berkeley, CA) or could be from OW (New Orleans, LA)

Yes, my father looks like that picture of an orangutan with a leashed dog: remember it’s here. Which is why I chose that picture because it reminded me a lot of my father, which I believe was the point. My father loves his three daughters, but he loves his four dogs perhaps a bit more. He considers his four canine pals to be his children as well as his companions while he stays at home all day painting and answering the doorbell for UPS (my mother receives many packages). His favorite dog would probably be the schnoodle, Heidi (ten pounds of delight) who makes him carry her everywhere. Though he loves his new son (and only son) very much, Buckley, the german shepard-mix we rescued from El Paso, TX back in August. He loves those dogs as much as he’ll hate this answer.

2. luv the blog, but hate the DMV- how did it go? - Chuck (from Baltimore, MD)

Hi Chuck, thank you and I hate the DMV, too. I know I said in my last blog I was going, but I ended up having to post-pone that trip to later this month. I am going to the DMV to get a California license as well as needing to register my car in California (to get Cali license  plates). Wish me luck, please!

3. You do improv? what type? long form or short? any stand up? a comedy fan. keep up the good work. – Jasper (Louisville, KY

Thanks, Jasper. I just completed my first level class of improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade and look forward for 201 level in January. I prefer watching and performing long form, but I think short form is a great way to warm up, and can be a lot of fun. I don’t do stand up currently, but as soon as I gets the balls to do it I figure why not try it out. Thank you. How is the comedy scene in Louisville?

If seeing is right then look where you’re at

Hi Y’all! It’s been a while, huh? Let’s get the self-promotion jingle out of the way first.

So, I have a new piece up on Etsy (y’all wanna see… you don’t have a choice).

Sister Laveau with the Gris Gris (One of a Kind Painting)

It’s my first painting I’m putting up for sale. So, this is an experiment of sorts to see how it does. I’ve been working on a couple of other small paintings, which in the next week I may just put on etsy, too.

So, you may be wondering who in the hell Marie Laveau and what is gris-gris. Well, M.Laveau is one of the most famous Voodoo Practitioners to come out of New Orleans (back in the 19th century.. so real real long ago). And gris-gris is like a voodoo amulet that people would buy from Voodoo witches and what not as a way to word off evil or bad luck.

Second Bit of Self-Promotion: Katnawlin’s Shop has been featured in my 4th Etsy Treasury (on etsy.com people can create a page will similar pieces of items that for sale). Check out the treasury here (it will expire on November 6th).

It took some voodoo to make this happen:

Hey, Katnawlins! That ain't a chimp!

This is going to a short post, but tomorrow I’m going to the DMV for the first time while in Los Angeles. So, who knows what crazy & fun times I’ll have there… yeah, kill me now.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. hI kat, i liked all the saints talk (who dat!!!!), but i’m also part of who dat nation. were u as nervous as i was durin that falcons game monday? damn, a real nail biter for no reason. keep up the good work. and geaux saints. – Jermaine (from red stick, LA)

Haha Jermaine, I like you’re Baton Rouge (red stick) joke in there, nice LA type joke (corny!). I know I love the Saints talk, too, but even can admit it was excessive. We’re all just so proud and happy for our boys. And yes the game against the dirty birds this past monday night was really hard to watch in the 2nd half because the Falcons had the momentum for most of that half, but a WIN is a WIN, and we won hahaha. 7-0, baby!

2. Katnawlins, do you have a problem with grammar? You mis-use it on a regular basis. I don’t mean to be insulting just friendly constructive criticism from a fan. – Douglas (from Little Rock, AR).

Thank you, Douglas. I’m not insulted, but I’m also not moved to change my horrible use of grammar ways. Thanks for looking out, and keep reading!

3. Why are most of your questions from dudes? What’s up with that? – Jesse (from Memphis, TN)

That’s a great question, Jesse (with a purposefully gender ambiguous name, I see). Well nothing against womenfolk it’s just I receive more questions from men, what can you do? Over the past couple of weeks however there have been a couple of questions here and there from women. Also strange how all three questions came from the South today. hmm.

Until next time… hopefully I’ll post tomorrow, but no promises.

ALL SAINTS DAY (aka the day after Halloween)

Happy All Saints Day, Y’all. Why is this such a special day?

In related, All Saints Day news:

Happy Birthday, New Orleans Saints. On Nov. 1, 1966 – All-Saints Day – the NFL awarded a franchise to Nola. They called the team the Saints.

Enough with the Saints talk since I promised Nidhi.

Happy Halloween, Chimp.. you're oh so clever you don't even know that gourd you're eating is decorative

So… last night was Halloween! YES! What did y’all dress up as? Please tell me in the comments, I’m dying to know (not literally also I don’t really care, c’mon it’s November 1st- we got 365 days till the next time I’ll really care what you’re dressed up as! but still need to know for archival purposes).

What did Katnawlin’s dress up as, you ask… I was Vida (Patrick Swayze) from the film To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar. My friends Kim and Sheri were Chi Chi (John Leguizamo) and Noxeema (Wesley Snipes). This is how we looked:

Fierce! Sorry for the quality of the photo taken on an iphone, but you get it! My dress looks straight up like a Mardi Gras Float, but in the best way possible!

And this is how the original drag queens looked:

Obviously We'll Never be as Fabulous, but We Did Try!

Los Angles is crazy during Halloween. The city was by far the most congested I’ve ever seen it. Halloween is apparently very big here especially where we were most of the night in West Hollywood.

Here’s a picture just to get an idea of how packed West Hollywood is for their Halloween Carnival:

WEHO Halloween Carnival. Everyone was Dressed to Impress

My friends and I had planned to go to multiple spots/ parties in the WeHo and Hollywood areas, but the people and car congestion was not cute at all. A typical 4 mile/10-15 minute drive took almost an hour and $50 (not each) cab later. So, we got out, and just started walking. The people watching was amazing of course. So, the night didn’t go as had expected, but all of us are new to Halloween in LA, and learned if we wanna do it right that we’ll have to start out a lot earlier than 9:00PM and we’ll have to realize that party hopping isn’t going to work. But it was still fun!

HAPPY ALL SAINTS DAY and HAPPY GET AN HOUR ON THE CLOCK DAY!

and now on to…

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Great post about Farmville. I share your addiction. How can I resist the brown cow that makes chocolate milk. It’s like my heart is going to explode from all the love of these cute little critters. So, how is your farm doing, and what level are you on? And oh, umm can we be neighbors? Thanks! – Roy (Dectaur, OK)

Thank you, Roy. I’m at level 11 (wow, just the other day I was at 8! I’m a loser). We can definitely be neighbors but you have to fan me on facebook first (here). Also I love the animals obviously on Farmville, but why no dogs? Don’t the sheep need to be herded? Just a thought.

2. Katnawlins, you’re advice is sometimes all over the place, but I figured what do I have to lose asking you for some? My family and I can’t stop fighting over what we should have as our main protein at Thanksgiving this year. The obvious and traditional protein would be a Turkey, but that’s so traditional and boring. What do you think we should make? – Duncan (from Rochester, NY)

Duncan, I understand, and that’s why my Southern Ass thinks you should get a TURDUCKEN.

“a dish consisting of a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The thoracic cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are stuffed, sometimes with a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird.” – wikipedia

My family has this often for thanksgiving and even for Christmas usually with a crawfish stuffing (my favorite part, and this year I’m not eating meat, so the stuffing will have to do). I know you find my advice suspect, but this is actually legit and delicious advice. So, Yankee try this southern concoction!

That’s it for today! See y’all later. Oh and “Who dat? Who dat say they gonna beat dem Saints”

That what’s mistaken for closeness… Is just a case of mitosis

Hey Friends! It’s been a couple of days since my last post (like I said before it could get like this, but no fear, I’m here now (comma splices and all)).

So, it’s come to my attention from my friend, Nidhi, that I write toooo muccch about the SAINTS. So, I’m not allowed to write about them again until after Monday’s game against the Dirty Birds (aka the Atlanta Falcons, our biggest NFC South Rivals). So when it comes to the SAINTS talk my lips are sealed (but sealed with a cool BLACK AND GOLD tape).

On a slightly related note, but not really. I’m currently addicted to the facebook application game FARMVILLE. Y’all heard of it? I’ve only been playing for a couple of days now, but I’m addicted! For those of you who don’t know what Farmville is let me tell you about it:

“Well.. you just plough land and plant stuff and then harvest them. The more points you get you go up levels. And yeah each plant has different harvest times and you gotta harvest them else they’ll die.. its good.. loads of people have it.. i didn’t realise it was so popular (:” – from Yahoo Answers

It really is addictive. My sisters got me hooked on it, and like I said I’ve only been playing for a couple of days but already on level 8 (how sad). Here is a picture of my farm:

I’m the little farmer in the middle of it all

To give you a better idea how far I still have to go my middle sister is way ahead of me in terms of level. She is at level 22. LEVEL 22, people. Look at her farm please:

Yeah, Her Farm is Poppin’

The game is ridiculous, and I have no idea why I got so addicted so quickly. I’m not a game-kind-of-girl. Maybe I love this game because I love animals. For instance, sometimes a random animal will need to be adopted. Such a post will look like this:

How can I possibly say no to a cow so cute and lonely? I need it, and I need to sell the milk (2 rights make a right right)

Why I really love this game I think goes back to when I was little and I would play Oregon Trail on the computer. Remember that game, y’all? Where you and a bunch of people you invented would chill in a covered wagon and head out into the West in the quest for a new home in Oregon (of all places).

The game never mentioned the fact you were going to steal land that was already inhabited by people for thousands of years. In fact the only mention of Native Americans in that game was the kind Native American man you could pay to help you ford the big rivers (oh, and you had to pay him because otherwise inevitability you’d always either: a) die b) your oxen would drown c) 250 lbs of bison meat would spoil somehow.Oh, at the time I used to play that game I was a vegetarian, but I loved hunting for bison (messed up, right!).

Because I have an overactive imagination I wouldn’t just play the game on the computer, but in real life. My sister and I would use the twin beds in my bedroom as our covered wagons, and take a straw hat and tie a ribbon on it to make it bonnet-like (because that was the look back in the trail days).

So, my roomate needs to be weary if she comes home one day and I’m playing live-action farmville. If she walks into my room and I’m plowing, and adopted “ugly ducklings” that turn into swans. Then I may have to be committed.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Hi Katnawlins, I think you’ll get a kick out of this picture? tell me if you do. – Stevie (St. Louis, MO) pic attached:

Chimps that can use old-timey phones better than me

Stevie! YES! I love the picture, and of course you knew I would. Yeah, I hate that that chimp knows how to use a rotary phone better than I ever will. He’s also so cute and inquisitive (or rather was, awww).

2. I hope you can help me out here. My mouth has been sort of achey especially on the right side. The other day I was eating a piece of non-free range bacon, and a whole chunk of tooth just came right out. It was epic! So, my question is should I go to the dentist or just eat free-range bacon? What do you recommend? Thanks. p.s. love the blog. – Jeremiah (Suffolk, MN)

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Jeremiah. I’m not a doctor/dentist or even an orthodontist, but I’m pretty sure you just should be eating free-range bacon. Your tooth fell out because god is mad at you for eating pigs that have never felt the earth beneath their hooves. Also, god might be mad you were eating hooved animals (depending on which god you listen to). Hope that helped- don’t sue me.

3. Why can’t guys and girls just be friends? I have this guy friend and I’m not attracted to him at all, but he’s very quickly becoming one of my closest friends. Why does it have to cross the fine line of friendship? – Paulina (from Pittsfield, OR)

Great question, Paulina. I’m not from the school of thought that heterosexuals of the opposite sex can’t be friends. I think that’s a silly out-dated idea created by fathers scared of their dowry money being spent before they could land the richest dude in the little village they lived in. Most likely he’s confusing his feelings of friendship and closeness for those of romantic ones, which with time he’ll see how wrong his feelings are (haha poor guy). Or he just wants to be in a relationship, and y’all get along so well he figures why not? I don’t know, I’m not inside his head (thank god).

That’s all for today, guys! Remember Farmville is highly addictive, but the animals on it are adorable! Till next time!

If I’m One Thing, I Guess I’m Just NEW ORLEANS

Wow! Guys what a weekend, huh? Are y’all still as wiped out from it as I am? Tell me about you weekends in the comments, thanks!

So, first things first. SAINTS game yesterday. Wow, what a roller coaster that was for us SAINTS fans out there. During much of the first half (ok, the whole first half minus the last five seconds of it) in Miami against the Dolphins the SAINTS looked sluggish and a real mess. At times I was on the brink of tears at the bar I was at. I kept eating sweet potato fries after sweat potato fries long after I was full. I was so nervous, but somewhere deep down inside I realized that the SAINTS could get a hold of this game. Who cares if we were 21 POINTS behind. This is the SAINTS, and we’ve had an amazing season so far.

Brees (our QB) Diving for a TOUCH DOWN in the last 5 seconds of the first half

Sure enough after a touch down in the last five seconds of the first half the momentum changed in Shark Stadium, and was placed firmly in the SAINT’S hot hands. By the end of the 2nd half the SAINTS had scored 46 POINTS to the dolphins 34 POINTS. Another fine whooping from the SAINTS. And now we’re 6-0!

The game was epic that my father actually let me talk to him about the game. He hates the SAINTS with passion mainly because he hates football (and all sports in general). This typically how he feels when my mother or I talk about the SAINTS.

My Father Has This Expression Whenever The SAINTS are Mentioned in Our Household

Enough with the SAINTS love. (oh, but WHO DAT?)

Oh, so I’ve started painting on canvas. But I’m not sure, should I add them to my SHOP or not. Here are two pieces I did Saturday– obviously not the best quality photo because it was taken on my iphone, but give the girl a break I do what I can. Thanks.

Two Paintings I Just Finished

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. I hope you’re feeling better! I once had a bout with food poisoning. I was hurling into a trash can by my bed for a whole week. I will never again eat a whole wheel of brie covered in blue-green mold. – Lars (Ashby, MN)

Oh, Lars that sounds absolutely dreadful. I’m sorry you’re life became that though it’s common sense not to eat a whole wheel of brie in one sitting by yourself, and really not to eat if it’s gone bad. But brie is so yummy I totally understand where the impulse came form of course.

2. Hey Katnawlins, where in the h*ll did october go? one minute it was the 1st and now its all gone out the proverbial window. i hate it. – Roscoe (from San Jose, CA)

I know October literally flew by. Time has a way of doing that though. My best advice for you to make time slow down a bit is to adopt a child preferably a new-born baby that doesn’t sleep much then time will really move slowly, but you’ll also be out a lot of money because baby adopting and baby keeping are expensive!

3. I know you’re a huge saints fan. do u think they will go to the super bowl? cause i know they ain’t ever been b4. tell me is it a possibility? i’m actually a buccaneers fan, but they ain’t got a chance in hell of getting there. so now i’m rootin for the saints. Michael (from Tampa Bay, FL)

I am going to be waaaaaay biased with this answer, but I think they have a real shot of making it to the Super Bowl as long as they keep healthy and win the games they are supposed to win then I don’t see why not. Right now they are definitely the best in the NFC. It’s very sad the Superdome has hosted the most super bowls, but the Saints have never ever gone. Keep your fingers crossed for my boys! (only undefeated team in the NFC, too).

That’s it for this post! Don’t forget to ask questions in the comment section, and till next time, boooooos!