And when you’re growing down instead of growing up…

What’s up, World? Missed me? I’ve been too busy loving the all the nice press THE SAINTS are finally getting after they whooped the giants on Sunday. I just spend my days now reading everything I can about the Saints. I re-read things I’ve already read, which hurts my brain, but my heart loves it (this is what my heart looks like).

Enough about my boys, and on to more pressing matters. Recently, a friend asked me on Facebook for some advice. He wanted to know if he should move to Los Angeles or not. He already knows he loves New York City, and he has the opportunity to do a semester program this coming spring in Los Angeles, but doesn’t know if he should. So, he asked me to come up with a pros and cons list for Los Angeles.

I should say I used to be just like him. About a year ago one of my friends and I had a freak out about whether or not to attend the same program. We both loved NYC, and were going on about how much we’d hate LA (neither of us had been to LA). A very smart friend stopped the neurotic freak out, and said “Look at it this way it’s just an opportunity! That’s all it is.” She was right, and now I’m living in Los Angeles post-program. Where is my other freak out friend? Well, she’s in Dominican Republic… there’s a joke in there somewhere.

Anyway, I want to help my friend out. So, let’s (when I type let’s, I meant me) come up with a bona-fie PROS and CON list for LOS ANGELES that my friend and others struggling with this very same dilemma can use for future reference. This list will obviously be biased since it’s my PROS & CON list and not say yours. Some of what makes the list will seem very obvious and cliche, and that’s because it’s so true it’s become a cliche. Somethings will be very surprising and make you nod your head in a way you didn’t know possible. Here It Is!

PROS & CONS of LIVING IN LOS ANGELES

Pros

Cons

Fantastic Weather (Always Sunny) Diverse Always Something to Do People Watching Goldmine Celebrities Large Breasts are Beloved Here No Snow No Blizzards People are Beautiful People Smile A lot Gay Men are Fierce More Industry Jobs Here A lot of Acting Gigs Lots of Gas Stations Smells Better than East Coast Everyone Wants to be Your Friend

It Never Rains Diversity not Found Everywhere Most to Do is Expensive A lot of Crazy People Celebrities A lot of Fake Breasts Mudslides Earthquakes People are Too Beautiful People Can’t Stop Smiling (botox) Gays Will Mock Grandma Purse at club(Lauren) A lot of Out-of-Work-Actors A lot of Pissed Off Waiters/Waitresses No One Can Drive Here Smog and Traffic Doesn’t Smell Good Everyone is Fake (but at least you know they are)

Soooo… you should so move to LOS ANGELES, friend! If y’all can think of more awesome PROS&CONS for LA then leave them in the comments, and I might just might decide I want to add them to my amazing table/chart thing.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Dear Katnawlins, a question: do you think Chris Brown will finally have repercussions for his actions? I mean getting called out by a gaggle of drunk girls? That’s pretty sad. He should grow up. – Elle (from Berkeley, CA)

G’day, Elle. Thanks for the great question. As of right now I don’t think Chris Brown has really received a harsh enough repercussions for his actions. Sure a bunch of bitches, I mean girls giving him a look or too doesn’t suffice. Let’s compare the treatment Kanye West had after he drunkenly went onstage during Taylor Swift’s VMA speech vs. Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna. Sure one happened more recently but it’s hard not to see that Kanye has been repremanded more than Chris Brown has by the media and by even President Obama (who said some harsh words about Kanye off the record, but nothing as far as we know about Chris Brown’s actions). Both Chris Brown and Kanye West acted out in reprehensible ways, but the difference is there are no bite marks on Taylor Swift’s arms.

2. Hi, gee! luv the blog esp that chris brown post. tell me were the girls hot or not… cause if they were hot lemme take a few off his hands. ill punch a bitch or two if thats what they seem to like hangin out w/ him! – Charles II (from Morgan, PA)

Thanks, Charles II. I don’t like that you even joked about punching bitches in your question, but I understand where you were at least going with it. I guess I’m going to have to get used to all the Chris Brown related questions from my last post. I wish I had a way to tell those stupid chicks you were interested in them.

3. To Whom This May Concern, Are you looking for other writer’s for your blog? Also love your blog, but could be even better with my point of view! – Samson (from Viola, NM).

Hi Samson, I’m not looking for any more writers for the blog currently. Also, I feel like this question wasn’t just to me like i feel as if you spammed this across many different bloggers. Secondly, wordpress is a free blog website. If you want to share you point of view with the world please do, start your own blog. Thirdly, if that wasn’t a mass spam than thanks for the loving my blog (though I’m sure you’ve never read it).

Alright! That’s all for now! Keep the Questions coming! I love em! oh and GEAUX SAINTS!

weekends come and weekends go…

I hope y’all (the world) had a fabulous weekend! I know I did. I’d love to hear all about y’alls weekend, too (in the comments, but write it in the smallest of print and the simplest of terms, thanks!).

My weekend was very eventful! As I said in my previous post my sister came to visit (the middle, less-manger-one, remember?). A couple of her friends and my friend/roommate and I all went out last night into the underbelly of Los Angeles. Well, Katnawlins, that was mis-leading because Hollywood is not the “underbelly,” but it does have some of the most annoying people in it at night (a lot of LA neighborhoods do actually- like these folks).

There we were in Hollywood intermingled with the America’s most starving for attention people for that moment in time. We go to a bar/lounge around midnight, and order our drinks. We find a place to sit the (five of of us), and not too long after a quite large man runs over to us, and is like “YOU WANNA HEAR THE BEST PICK UP LINE EVER! EVER?” and then runs away. We kind of did want to hear it because why not. He returns five minutes later to shout the same thing, and again we do kind of wanna hear it. (we also wondered if he was too drunk to know he had already awkwardly yelled that us). After the second time he ran over, the girl, woman in his party of three runs over, and is “SORRY ABOUT HIM!” We said it’s okay, and then she inquired how five of us were so pretty and hot, and that there wasn’t even one ugly girl among us. Then she pointed out the third dude in their party, who happens to be the pick up line’s dude twin brother, so he looked like this. She looked as if she were to go away, but instead she blurted out, “Tell me why we’ve been together for 10 YEARS, and we’re not married!” I should also mention she told us how she’d been in a Prince video (15-20 years ago), and was almost chosen to be a Laker girl (again probably 16 years ago).

Somehow the twin brother came back yelling that the pick up line was “WANNA DO SOME COCAINE……. IN THE BATHROOM?” This was ironic cause earlier in the evening, I told my friend/roommate she couldn’t consider herself living in LA till someone offered her cocaine (a good laugh of irony was had by all at the table much to the confusion from the drunk twin). Now what happened next is confusing… it seems he thought we were at a bachelorette party. Not to disappoint I moved my finger off my middle finger and onto my “wedding finger,” and we acted like I was getting married to a gent named Doug, my sister was my maid of honor and we kept on yelling “You’re Getting Married, awwwwwww!!!” He tried to kiss my hand where my “engagement” ring was (which looked nothing like one). The woman also desperately wanted my friend to ask her boyfriend why they weren’t married. Trobs.

The weirdness continued, my sister and her friends had gone to the bathroom and overheard some strange talk of “Bump Its,” which is a device you put in your hair to make it look Sarah Palin, or like this. BUT then perhaps the most ignorant thing happened. They saw a conversation so disgusting unfold that I’ll try to recreate it here for you

Asian Girl: ewwww I have pepper stuck in my teeth!

Blonde Friend: No Big deal, girl you Asian (plucks a string of hair out of her friend’s hair, and hands it to her) Here’s some floss girl!

And the asian girl in fact flossed with her own hair. Racism and hygiene together.

This whole ordeal is nothing compared to fun/nausea/crazyness that laid in store for us at Kitchen 24 (a 24-hour “swanky” diner in Hollywood). Before this evening my most fondest memory of the Kitchen was when one of my best friends from college threw up in the bathroom post-21st b-day and then took a dump in front of me (it all went in the toilet, thank you!). Tonight was much better… because CHRIS BROWN was there. Y’all remember him, right? He beat up Rhianna and left some teeth marks on her in case we didn’t think him slamming her face against the car was enough. This is what he did to her if you forgot, world.

Don't let my sister give you the stank eye because you'll probably get over it QUICK

I interviewed my middle sister about this crazy ordeal with Chris Brown. Oh also this is what she looked like… so I’d like you to see this during the interview when she answers my hard-hitting questions.

She looked at him thrice!

Question 1: What were you thinking when you saw Chris Brown?

Answer: At first I didn’t know what was happening because I was drunk, but then Alex (her friend) said, “Hey, that’s Chris Brown!” for the third time and I thought: wow, he’s disdainful towards women. I should stare at him to convey disdain back!

Question 2: Tell me about the way he reacted to the disdain?

Answer: Well, he looked at me for a brief moment perpelexed and then he turned back to the girl sitting next to him. She was very normal looking (not as hot as Rihanna!) That’s for sure. I wonder in my drunkness if my mean face looked like my goofy face.

Question 3: After we left the establishment what did you do next?

Answer: Well, I’m glad you asked that question, Sister. Hard hitting journalism! I reprimanded a short man for being named Andre (like the cheap champagne, people), got into my friend’s car and proceeded to yell out of the car window that Chris Brown was at E-24 (note she didn’t say the correct establishment for awhile) and that everyone should go there and beat him up!

Question 4: Any additional thoughts?

Answer: Yay! I’d like to add: if you’re 16 and at the In-Out-Burger on a Saturday Night, maybe wear shorts under your dress for the dance party!

After we yelled to much of Hollywood (post 2AM) where Chris Brown could be found we went to In-and-Out Burger (a California fast food chain), and while chilling in the drive-thru line Elle overheard some white people talking about how their friend looks like “Slim-Shady,” to which she rolled down the window and yelled at them, “ALL WHITE PEOPLE LOOK THE SAME!” And that is how you end the night, right!

Side Notes: SAINTS made the giants look like kindergartners. 48-27 (and it wasn’t even that close). It was a great game. Every time the Saints made a touch down my sister and I ran Victory Laps around the living room.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Where do bird babies come from? – Nidhi (Mumbai, India)

Hi Nidhi! I love that I have fans in India (and in London). I’m sort of upset that your education in India has failed you about basic biology, so I’m going to fail you, too. “Bird Babies” (which is that the right term?) come from Storks, well some do if they are baby Storks. Thanks, keep reading.

2. I love the art you do. But I don’t have much money. You have anything under $10? – Lou (from Tipaloo, KS)

Great question, Lou! Thanks. I do in fact sell pieces for under 10. Like check out this note-card set for only $5.00. You get three orginial pieces for only 5.00 dollars.