BRING EM TO THE DOME

“We used to say ‘Who dat’ since way back when / Now we’re saying ‘We dat’ every time we win / You can write it down, take a picture, tell a friend / We already done it. We’re gonna do it again” — Rebirth Brass Band

I’m all kinds of happy. I’m sitting here with a sore throat, but with a glow of happiness from last night’s tight game between the NEW ORLEANS #SAINTS against our biggest foes the dirty birds (aka the atlanta falcons). We’re battling it for NFC and NFC South supremacy.

I’ll keep the SAINTS talk to a minimum since I know some of my readers don’t like/care about football. Let’s put it this way. Last nights game took some of the dirty birds swagger away, and nothing bad about that, y’all.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holidays. Mine have been very nice and chill (too many times i’ve been hungover, but that is what NEW ORLEANS is for I guess.

Happy Holidays! Imagine that this amazing SANTA APE is singing, "All I Want for Christmas is for the SAINTS to go the Superbowl"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. my favorite thing about your blog are not your words or your humor (cause neither make much sense). what keeps me coming back for more are the pics of monkeys you find. keep em coming! – cici  (from tonka, NJ)

That’s a weird compliment mixed with not so nice things. I’m with you on the monkey/ape pics. I love them clearly. I spent hours of my life trolling the internet looking for these pictures. HOURS! Here is a new cute one I’d say.

I'm trying to figure it out, too

This chimp is wiser than us all. He can write with BOTH HANDS! BOTH! Amazing!

2. yyyyyyyooo mami! I LOVE your new layout. Looks great. Really enjoy the new banner. – Darren (from San Diego, CA)

Thank you, Darren. This might just be one of the nicest things said to me of all things said to me on my blog.

3. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON THIS PIC BELOW. NO IDEA! NONE! HELP! – Bea (from Philadelphia, PA)

Everyone Deserves to be Loved

I see how you may be confused by this picture, but luckily I’m an expert in chimp picture behavior. First look this picture seems very cute/sweet, and even romantic because it’s in black and white. However, if you are truly paying attention you notice that one chimp is in fact tying the other chimp up in a sexually suggestive way. I think there is true love and respect here, but I also think there is high kink here, too. They really are just like us!

That’s all for today y’all! WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS… can’t wait for the playoffs. TWO DAT! I’ll be in the SUPERDOME for the last game of the regular season on January 2nd! I’ll be drunk probs, but also excited to see my boos!

all that glitters is gold

“Way down yonder in NEW ORLEANS . In the land of dreamy scenes. There’s a garden of Eden. You know what I mean.” — Louis Armstrong

Is everyone excited for the holidays? If we’re being real and inclusive then the holidays really already started December 1st was the first day of JEWISH 8 DAYS OF OIL HOLIDAY (it’s famous).

I’ll be in NEW ORLEANS for the holidays as usual. Last year the family went to London to celebrate my parents 25th-anniversary-of-not-killing-each-other-while-living-on-the-under-the-same-roof. It was cold and dreary (thanks ENGLAND). And we missed the annual FAMILY LAST NAME tradition (going strong after three years, The Annual Christmas Eve Party at the FAMILY LAST NAME, which consists of my mom inviting 3 people + family and having tons of party food and a random ham my Nana thinks needs to be there. My sisters and i just look embarrassed at the lack of guests.

This year my middle sister and I are going to wear festive holiday sweaters to keep up us warm and entertained for five minutes. I purchased “classy” versus “classic” holiday sweaters at a LOS ANGELES thrift store on Melrose (they had tons at AMERICAN VINTAGE). Look for an example below:

"CLASSIC TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

"CLASSY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

Do you see what I mean now? these are two very different kinds of sweaters, and I’d be very offended if someone thought the one on the right was the same as the one on the left.  how did i get these words here?

Now that we’ve got that cleared up (thankfully) on to more important & pressing needs.

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"I HEART NOLA Shotgun (one of a kind)"

“I HEART NOLA SHOTGUN (one of a kind)” can be purchased at my ETSY SHOP. This colored pencil drawing is just one of many new items in my shop. I have new paintings and holiday ornaments like the ones below!

"SAINTS Holiday Ornament (one of a kind)" & "NOLA Orange Ornament (one of a kind)"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. have you been able to find any great chimps in a holiday sweater for the season? Cause I can’t find a single one!!! NOT ONE – Lex (from Newport, MA)

It’s been difficult. Very trying actually! TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATERS = hilarious & CHIMPS DOING ANYTHING = hilarious, so you’d think that sweaters + chimps = GOLDMINE. I know, I know. These two pics were the closest I came to finding our dream pictures!

Puppet Monkeys Dressed for the Season - this is disappointing

Imagine that this adorable little chimp had a holiday element to it. maybe those white dots are SNOW!!

I couldn't resist! It is a GREEN sweater/hoodie with a dogggggy!

2. KATNAWLINS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LITTLE DOGS DRESSED UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS? – Vince (from Jakarta, Indonesia)

I think it’s cute. More cute than I should because I also think it looks absolutely stupid. I totally understand from a place of warmth. If you have a dog that has hair instead of fur (i.e. poodles, schnoodles, cockapoos (anything with poodle in it basically) then to keep this animal warm in cold climates something like a doggy sweater or coat is good.

How cute I find the picture is determined by how awesome the dog feels in said picture.

Exhibit A: This schnoodle LOVES their sweater & their owner. Couldn't be more stylish if it tried!

Exhibit B: This pug hates his life & loves his owner (cause all dogs love their owners unless the last name is VICK).

You can also be impressed that both pictures involve HOLIDAY SWEATERS (and one is an example of classy and the other an example of tacky).

3. How about dem boys? You think we gonna two dat? – Flex (from Alexandria, LA)

I would loooooovvvvvvvvveeeee to play the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and BEAT EM!! How awesome would that be if we could beat Manning and Brady in back to back Super Bowls. It’d say a lot about us and for Drew Brees!

So, yes I think we can definitely TWO DAT (for those not a SAINTS fan it just means WIN THE SUPERBOWL). In order to make our lives easier it’d be great to get no. 1 seed in the NFC playoffs, but that will be hard with the dirty birds playing so competently. I do think we can beat them in the Georgiadome. We’re much better than we were when we first played them back in week 3. It’s going to be tough, but we’ve been done this road before and have been VICTORIOUS!

That’s it for now, y’all. HAVE A FABULOUS HOLIDAY, and I’ll see you in 2011 (damn this place is getting mad old!!).

Happy New Year, and other things we stop saying after feb. 1st

SAINTS WORLD CHAMPIONS.. WHO DAT, WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT THEM SAINTS... UMM NO ONE ACTUALLY. WE DAT

Happy 2010, y’all. It was a long time a coming since as everyone knows that 2009 historically sucked in so many ways that I can’t even count them (that’s how bad 2009 was I lost the ability to count).

Asides aside, I hope everyone had a great winter-holiday time, and even more fabulous New Years Eve and Day. I haven’t written on here in a real minute because I was across the world in a far away country called London, England. It’s a tiny set of islands in case geography failed you like it’s failed me. Then some time in New Orleans where I really never found the time to write on here.

My Middle Sister took this Picture as My Mother Looked for an ATM

So, now I’m back in Los Angeles doing what I do most of the time sitting behind a desk answering phone calls for other people’s lives aka an assistant. I know y’all are so jealous. Don’t worry I am also doodling up a storm as I sit behind this desk.

Now to the best part of this post! THE SAINTS not only beat the Cardinals, the Vikings, but they went to the SUPER BOWL and won the WHOLE DAMN THING! For reals. I actually was in NOLA last week for the Super Bowl and for LOMBARDI GRAS (the SAINTS Super Bowl parade) Shit was intense.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Where have you been?

I think I just explained all of that.

Santa Claus is Dead… Yeah, well so is Nietzsche!

Happy, Happy, Happpppppy HOLIDAYS, y’all. Can you believe that we’re in the last month of the year, and we look this cute?

I’m not afraid to admit in this blog that I used to love Christmas. I’m not above that. I guess who doesn’t like Christmas (not everyone celebrates it, Katie, but  Jews who sometimes do for the fun of it). There is a baby (jesus, y’all), presents (capitalism, check!), dreams (childhood, yes!), food (holiday weight, thanks!), and outrageous expectations (life!). So, it’s clear at the age of 23 why Christmas doesn’t have the same impact on me anymore (less presents).

When I was 6 I found out the truth. It was on the playground of all (seemingly innocent) places, and this little red-headed bitch had the nerve to drop the largest bomb of my very young, privileged life. She had the audacity (one of my favorite words) to say there was no Santa… no Rudolph no nothing. I did the Home Alone clutch my face and scream. How long did I scream? I don’t remember cause I passed the fuck out.

The worse part was now I had to carry this secret with me. This  green&scarlet letter permanently scaring my brain. At the time my sister Elle was four (so young and innocent) and my Manager was like literally a baby like Jesus (she was my manager even then though. powerful shit in her baby formula). Every holiday season post six years old was like a real kick into my gut because I had to keep acting like the fat man was real. It was insulting. On top of the secrets and deception I kept and told my sisters I still stayed to all strange hours in the night waiting to open presents from mom and dad NOT from Santa. This is what Christmas always looked like at my house:

Sister trying to open her present (Left) and Me (Right) trying to get at her present after I've devoured my gifts in moments... it's hard to be older and stronger. And I guess that's my dad in the background making that weirdo face

By the way, my middle sister didn’t find out the real truth about Santa Claus till she was NINE, which means I kept that promise not tell her for FIVE, long hard years. It was devastating (that’s what she said, hahahahahah). This secret dissolved any any soul I had to begin with. I honestly don’t remember when the manager found out (manager, do you recall)?

Self-Promotion Time

"Bohemian NOLA Shotgun (One of a Kind)"

I have a new 18×24 piece up in SHOP. I just sold the “Who Dat Shotgun” as well. So all is going well at the shop, but could always be better so come on down, y’all!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Katnawlins! Love the blog always read it! I have a serious question for you: How are you spending this holiday? In your beloved New Orleans or in Los Angeles. – Frederic II (from Dillon, TX)

Hi Frederic, thanks for the blog love. I really appreciate it! I am spending a good chunk of the holiday in cheerie ole’ London (my first time out of the country in all of my 23 wise years on this here planet) and the other half in New Orleans to recover from London and New Orleans New Years Eve.

2. It’s the holidays, so I’m wondering what you celebrate Christmas or Chihuahua? Like the blog, but don’t love it yet. With time. – Zed (from Salmon, OR)

Thanks, Zed? I think you meant Chanukah (or Hanukkah) and not chihuahua, but I make spelling errors alllll the time so who am I to talk? You left out a million other celebrations that happen this time of year. If you must know (or now know from this entry of my blog) that I celebrated Christmas growing up, but because I’m half-jewish we ignorantly had a menorah on the Christmas dinner table (including the rare time it snowed on Christmas day in New Orleans in 2004 for forty-five minutes… tsunamis in southeastern asia happened hours  later and Katrina months later, so never was the menorah placed on the Christmas table again).

3. Tell me as a SAINTS fan you have seen this video? It’s hi-larious and pretty insulting to the people of south eastern Louisiana. Here is the video. GEAUX SAINTS! (Luxe from Baton Rouge, LA)

Haha, yes I have seen the video and I even put it up on my facebook status because it’s just soo ridiculous. I reccomend everyone who reads my blog to see it. It’s tooo funny and terrifying all that drinking with all those firearms.

That’s it for now, folks! I hope to post before I ship off to cold-rainy-but-fun-London. If not have a great holiday whatever faith you practice or don’t practice. And if you have to work during the holiday break make sure you get that overtime, get it!

OH AND GEAUX SAINTS! 13-0!!!! AMAZING BLACK&GOLD SUPERBOWL

Who Dat? We Dat!

Salut! It’s been crazy long. So long that I’m not going to even do the math. I’m not going to apologize either. You can’t make me. Is it my fault? Well, technically, yes, since, there, are, so, many, commas, in, this, sentence. But on to more relevant and pressing news.

WHO DAT! Am I right, or am I right? I will again keep all SAINTS talk to a paragraph, but do understand I am very, soooo excited about the recent can of whoop ass they brought on the New England Patriots.

poor Tom Brady sacked... it felt so good

I think Tom Brady was in tears once he was taken out of the game with five minutes still left; the ultimate sign of defeat. Oh, and did I tell you the best part? I was AT THE GAME in the SUPERDOME! Can you believe it, loyal readers? Can you? Here is a picture:

A picture from where I was sitting! taken towards the end of the 1st half. random other nfl mascots in the frame

So, now the SAINTS are 11-0 with a real chance of going undefeated before the playoffs.

So, where have I been readers (I want y’all to know my grammar checker wanted me to correct readers with reader, does word know the truth??? It also wants me to learn how to spell grammar)? I’m still not going to apologize and I didn’t get swine flu (yet) so you don’t have to feel some sort of misplaced guilt for the constant questions of where I was at. I’ll tell you already. I was chilling in my beautiful (mostly rainy however while I was there) NEW ORLEANS for thanksgiving break, or holiday since my ass isn’t technically still in school. It’s hard to go eighteen years of “thanksgiving breaks” to all of a sudden just having “thanksgiving.”

What did I do on my break, and what did you fine loyal readers do on yours? Please share in the comment section. If you had more fun than me then I will not let your comments be published, but if had a good to okay to disastrous thanksgiving experience I will gladly enjoy reading and sharing those stories. And if they’re real all the better.

My break was fairly one of leisure I must say. It was a true vacation. Never had to do laundry or the dishes, and I was able to sort of sleep in. It was sublime. Real sublime. There were some hectic moments of course. For instance, my middle sister and I had to help our youngest sister (aka my manager) get her first bra. I can’t believe I had a manager this whole time who didn’t have sufficient support. How was she ever to support me if she couldn’t support herself? It’s real dark and lonely out there.

I’ll post again tomorrow with more updates about my thanksgiving to the Bayou!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Wow Katnawlins, way to leave your fans out in the rain with a monsoon on the way. Thanks, a lot! Where in the hell have you been? Are you coming back? – Zed (from Orange County, CA)

You right, you right! I suck. I have just been super busy. And I am a horrible person. Happy now? Calm down, you’re from the OC don’t you have better things to do like hold parties while your parents are out of town.. I don’t know anything about the OC, clearly.

2. I’m not going to ask “where are you?” because it’s none of my business, but tell me this: How amazing were the Saints against the Patriots? I mean, come on! Right? That was legend-wait for it-dairy. I was relocated by Hurricane Katrina to Florida, but I used to live in St. Bernard Parish. It’s been amazing watching our boys play like they have been. I want it to be a black & gold superbowl! – Drew (from Tampa Bay, FL)

Thanks Drew! I know for a lot of New Orleanians in the city and all over the world that this year Saint’s are super special for them (as were the 2006 Saints, who were one game away from the superbowl). There is no doubt the team this year is special, and unites a population of people that are still displaced and recovering. Keep up the enthusiasm and love for our boys.

3. Katnawlins, i know your ass is going to be bragging about the Saints beating the Patriots, but don’t act like you didn’t go to school in New England. Mad disrespectful. I’ll be the first to admit the Saints outplayed us on every facet of the game. But his game would have been different if it were played in the elements in New England. – Mikey (from Boston, MA)

Thanks, Mikey?  And if grandpa had titties he’d be grandma…  I’m pretty sure the Saints would have  won in Foxboro (unless it was snowing/sleet, then who knows) because they are just a better team than New England this season, but the score would have been closer.

Final note of the day/blog/etc:

I wish I knew what sweet nothings Bellicheck whispered in SP's ear, alas we will never know. WHO DAT