put a twenty dollar gold piece on my watch chain

“In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are the two most interesting food towns. In New Orleans, they don’t have a bad deli. There’s no mediocrity accepted.” — Mario Batali

No. 16 Lance Moore scores the final TOUCHDOWN of the SAINTS game against the steelers. final score: 20-10. WHO DAT

We did it, Y’ALL! We beat no. 1 ranked Pittsburgh Steelers. I can’t call it a comeback yet because we need some consistency, but last night’s game in the superdome was a BIG WIN for us. A BIG WIN!

In other news, my youngest sister/manager (she was interviewed in this post) came in town this week to do some much needed college touring and interviewing. So, I played personal chauffeur to her needs this weekend. Every single need this girl had I had to obey. She would say I didn’t really do that. By the end of the visit she was for sure sick of me, and at one point even had the AUDACITY to kick me out of my own living room because I was “annoying her.” OUCH! She eventually forgave me, and allowed me to re-enter my own abode, but it was tense for an hour.

Surely, y'all remember my manager. She is a lil dumpling, she is!

The great thing about my little sister is her sense of humor. She has a way with words and a way with insults. On of our family trip to London Town. She told me, “Your face is my bidet” (for Americans who may not know what that is: it’s a plumbing device to wash one’s ass with after they dropped the kids off at the pool (aka poop)).

This trip was no disappointment. We walked into our hotel room in Orange, CA.

Me: Wow, I thought this HOTEL FRANCHISE was fancier.

Sister: What do you expect for $13.00 a night?

Me: That was just for the parking.

She also told me that she raised me more than my own mother did. My sister is six years my junior.  I also realize these things may not be that funny for y’all because you don’t know her and maybe you don’t have a sense of humor. I get it!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. i’m glad to see you are regularly posting. I guess you’re sort of sick of hearing that, but take it as a compliment.  Have you seen this picture. I saw it and immediately thought of you. Immediately. — Pepe (from Paris, France)

Pic Included w/ Question: isn't this great?

Thanks, Pepe. I love my internal fans the second most. Y’all are great, and let me just say that your English is pretty good. Not anything to write home about, but pretty good. Now take that as a compliment. As for the pic it’s adorable! ADORABLE. Is it funny? No. Why did this make you think of me? Because of the primate connection. I’m not that easy to figure out. Nice try, frenchie. How about this pic for hilarity (must bring expectations down a bit).

You gave me cute I RAISE you absurd!

2. Happy ALL SAINTS DAY! The anniversary when the New Orleans Saints were formed! Great win last night couldn’t have come at a better time. – Dana (from Baton Rouge, LA)

Agreed. Not sure what else to say to that. I agree, soooooooooooooooo WHO DAT!
That’s all for now!

ACTING PLUG: By the way I’ll be on  CBS, The Doctors tomorrow. Check out your local listings to see me on TV. If you’re like but what’s you name? I think it’s going to be PRETTY obvious who I am. My segment has Mardi Gras floats and Jazz music playing. You’ll know me when you hear it.

Happy New Year, and other things we stop saying after feb. 1st

SAINTS WORLD CHAMPIONS.. WHO DAT, WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT THEM SAINTS... UMM NO ONE ACTUALLY. WE DAT

Happy 2010, y’all. It was a long time a coming since as everyone knows that 2009 historically sucked in so many ways that I can’t even count them (that’s how bad 2009 was I lost the ability to count).

Asides aside, I hope everyone had a great winter-holiday time, and even more fabulous New Years Eve and Day. I haven’t written on here in a real minute because I was across the world in a far away country called London, England. It’s a tiny set of islands in case geography failed you like it’s failed me. Then some time in New Orleans where I really never found the time to write on here.

My Middle Sister took this Picture as My Mother Looked for an ATM

So, now I’m back in Los Angeles doing what I do most of the time sitting behind a desk answering phone calls for other people’s lives aka an assistant. I know y’all are so jealous. Don’t worry I am also doodling up a storm as I sit behind this desk.

Now to the best part of this post! THE SAINTS not only beat the Cardinals, the Vikings, but they went to the SUPER BOWL and won the WHOLE DAMN THING! For reals. I actually was in NOLA last week for the Super Bowl and for LOMBARDI GRAS (the SAINTS Super Bowl parade) Shit was intense.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Where have you been?

I think I just explained all of that.

Santa Claus is Dead… Yeah, well so is Nietzsche!

Happy, Happy, Happpppppy HOLIDAYS, y’all. Can you believe that we’re in the last month of the year, and we look this cute?

I’m not afraid to admit in this blog that I used to love Christmas. I’m not above that. I guess who doesn’t like Christmas (not everyone celebrates it, Katie, but  Jews who sometimes do for the fun of it). There is a baby (jesus, y’all), presents (capitalism, check!), dreams (childhood, yes!), food (holiday weight, thanks!), and outrageous expectations (life!). So, it’s clear at the age of 23 why Christmas doesn’t have the same impact on me anymore (less presents).

When I was 6 I found out the truth. It was on the playground of all (seemingly innocent) places, and this little red-headed bitch had the nerve to drop the largest bomb of my very young, privileged life. She had the audacity (one of my favorite words) to say there was no Santa… no Rudolph no nothing. I did the Home Alone clutch my face and scream. How long did I scream? I don’t remember cause I passed the fuck out.

The worse part was now I had to carry this secret with me. This  green&scarlet letter permanently scaring my brain. At the time my sister Elle was four (so young and innocent) and my Manager was like literally a baby like Jesus (she was my manager even then though. powerful shit in her baby formula). Every holiday season post six years old was like a real kick into my gut because I had to keep acting like the fat man was real. It was insulting. On top of the secrets and deception I kept and told my sisters I still stayed to all strange hours in the night waiting to open presents from mom and dad NOT from Santa. This is what Christmas always looked like at my house:

Sister trying to open her present (Left) and Me (Right) trying to get at her present after I've devoured my gifts in moments... it's hard to be older and stronger. And I guess that's my dad in the background making that weirdo face

By the way, my middle sister didn’t find out the real truth about Santa Claus till she was NINE, which means I kept that promise not tell her for FIVE, long hard years. It was devastating (that’s what she said, hahahahahah). This secret dissolved any any soul I had to begin with. I honestly don’t remember when the manager found out (manager, do you recall)?

Self-Promotion Time

"Bohemian NOLA Shotgun (One of a Kind)"

I have a new 18×24 piece up in SHOP. I just sold the “Who Dat Shotgun” as well. So all is going well at the shop, but could always be better so come on down, y’all!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Katnawlins! Love the blog always read it! I have a serious question for you: How are you spending this holiday? In your beloved New Orleans or in Los Angeles. – Frederic II (from Dillon, TX)

Hi Frederic, thanks for the blog love. I really appreciate it! I am spending a good chunk of the holiday in cheerie ole’ London (my first time out of the country in all of my 23 wise years on this here planet) and the other half in New Orleans to recover from London and New Orleans New Years Eve.

2. It’s the holidays, so I’m wondering what you celebrate Christmas or Chihuahua? Like the blog, but don’t love it yet. With time. – Zed (from Salmon, OR)

Thanks, Zed? I think you meant Chanukah (or Hanukkah) and not chihuahua, but I make spelling errors alllll the time so who am I to talk? You left out a million other celebrations that happen this time of year. If you must know (or now know from this entry of my blog) that I celebrated Christmas growing up, but because I’m half-jewish we ignorantly had a menorah on the Christmas dinner table (including the rare time it snowed on Christmas day in New Orleans in 2004 for forty-five minutes… tsunamis in southeastern asia happened hours  later and Katrina months later, so never was the menorah placed on the Christmas table again).

3. Tell me as a SAINTS fan you have seen this video? It’s hi-larious and pretty insulting to the people of south eastern Louisiana. Here is the video. GEAUX SAINTS! (Luxe from Baton Rouge, LA)

Haha, yes I have seen the video and I even put it up on my facebook status because it’s just soo ridiculous. I reccomend everyone who reads my blog to see it. It’s tooo funny and terrifying all that drinking with all those firearms.

That’s it for now, folks! I hope to post before I ship off to cold-rainy-but-fun-London. If not have a great holiday whatever faith you practice or don’t practice. And if you have to work during the holiday break make sure you get that overtime, get it!

OH AND GEAUX SAINTS! 13-0!!!! AMAZING BLACK&GOLD SUPERBOWL