Who Dat? We Dat!

Salut! It’s been crazy long. So long that I’m not going to even do the math. I’m not going to apologize either. You can’t make me. Is it my fault? Well, technically, yes, since, there, are, so, many, commas, in, this, sentence. But on to more relevant and pressing news.

WHO DAT! Am I right, or am I right? I will again keep all SAINTS talk to a paragraph, but do understand I am very, soooo excited about the recent can of whoop ass they brought on the New England Patriots.

poor Tom Brady sacked... it felt so good

I think Tom Brady was in tears once he was taken out of the game with five minutes still left; the ultimate sign of defeat. Oh, and did I tell you the best part? I was AT THE GAME in the SUPERDOME! Can you believe it, loyal readers? Can you? Here is a picture:

A picture from where I was sitting! taken towards the end of the 1st half. random other nfl mascots in the frame

So, now the SAINTS are 11-0 with a real chance of going undefeated before the playoffs.

So, where have I been readers (I want y’all to know my grammar checker wanted me to correct readers with reader, does word know the truth??? It also wants me to learn how to spell grammar)? I’m still not going to apologize and I didn’t get swine flu (yet) so you don’t have to feel some sort of misplaced guilt for the constant questions of where I was at. I’ll tell you already. I was chilling in my beautiful (mostly rainy however while I was there) NEW ORLEANS for thanksgiving break, or holiday since my ass isn’t technically still in school. It’s hard to go eighteen years of “thanksgiving breaks” to all of a sudden just having “thanksgiving.”

What did I do on my break, and what did you fine loyal readers do on yours? Please share in the comment section. If you had more fun than me then I will not let your comments be published, but if had a good to okay to disastrous thanksgiving experience I will gladly enjoy reading and sharing those stories. And if they’re real all the better.

My break was fairly one of leisure I must say. It was a true vacation. Never had to do laundry or the dishes, and I was able to sort of sleep in. It was sublime. Real sublime. There were some hectic moments of course. For instance, my middle sister and I had to help our youngest sister (aka my manager) get her first bra. I can’t believe I had a manager this whole time who didn’t have sufficient support. How was she ever to support me if she couldn’t support herself? It’s real dark and lonely out there.

I’ll post again tomorrow with more updates about my thanksgiving to the Bayou!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Wow Katnawlins, way to leave your fans out in the rain with a monsoon on the way. Thanks, a lot! Where in the hell have you been? Are you coming back? – Zed (from Orange County, CA)

You right, you right! I suck. I have just been super busy. And I am a horrible person. Happy now? Calm down, you’re from the OC don’t you have better things to do like hold parties while your parents are out of town.. I don’t know anything about the OC, clearly.

2. I’m not going to ask “where are you?” because it’s none of my business, but tell me this: How amazing were the Saints against the Patriots? I mean, come on! Right? That was legend-wait for it-dairy. I was relocated by Hurricane Katrina to Florida, but I used to live in St. Bernard Parish. It’s been amazing watching our boys play like they have been. I want it to be a black & gold superbowl! – Drew (from Tampa Bay, FL)

Thanks Drew! I know for a lot of New Orleanians in the city and all over the world that this year Saint’s are super special for them (as were the 2006 Saints, who were one game away from the superbowl). There is no doubt the team this year is special, and unites a population of people that are still displaced and recovering. Keep up the enthusiasm and love for our boys.

3. Katnawlins, i know your ass is going to be bragging about the Saints beating the Patriots, but don’t act like you didn’t go to school in New England. Mad disrespectful. I’ll be the first to admit the Saints outplayed us on every facet of the game. But his game would have been different if it were played in the elements in New England. – Mikey (from Boston, MA)

Thanks, Mikey?  And if grandpa had titties he’d be grandma…  I’m pretty sure the Saints would have  won in Foxboro (unless it was snowing/sleet, then who knows) because they are just a better team than New England this season, but the score would have been closer.

Final note of the day/blog/etc:

I wish I knew what sweet nothings Bellicheck whispered in SP's ear, alas we will never know. WHO DAT

weekends come and weekends go…

I hope y’all (the world) had a fabulous weekend! I know I did. I’d love to hear all about y’alls weekend, too (in the comments, but write it in the smallest of print and the simplest of terms, thanks!).

My weekend was very eventful! As I said in my previous post my sister came to visit (the middle, less-manger-one, remember?). A couple of her friends and my friend/roommate and I all went out last night into the underbelly of Los Angeles. Well, Katnawlins, that was mis-leading because Hollywood is not the “underbelly,” but it does have some of the most annoying people in it at night (a lot of LA neighborhoods do actually- like these folks).

There we were in Hollywood intermingled with the America’s most starving for attention people for that moment in time. We go to a bar/lounge around midnight, and order our drinks. We find a place to sit the (five of of us), and not too long after a quite large man runs over to us, and is like “YOU WANNA HEAR THE BEST PICK UP LINE EVER! EVER?” and then runs away. We kind of did want to hear it because why not. He returns five minutes later to shout the same thing, and again we do kind of wanna hear it. (we also wondered if he was too drunk to know he had already awkwardly yelled that us). After the second time he ran over, the girl, woman in his party of three runs over, and is “SORRY ABOUT HIM!” We said it’s okay, and then she inquired how five of us were so pretty and hot, and that there wasn’t even one ugly girl among us. Then she pointed out the third dude in their party, who happens to be the pick up line’s dude twin brother, so he looked like this. She looked as if she were to go away, but instead she blurted out, “Tell me why we’ve been together for 10 YEARS, and we’re not married!” I should also mention she told us how she’d been in a Prince video (15-20 years ago), and was almost chosen to be a Laker girl (again probably 16 years ago).

Somehow the twin brother came back yelling that the pick up line was “WANNA DO SOME COCAINE……. IN THE BATHROOM?” This was ironic cause earlier in the evening, I told my friend/roommate she couldn’t consider herself living in LA till someone offered her cocaine (a good laugh of irony was had by all at the table much to the confusion from the drunk twin). Now what happened next is confusing… it seems he thought we were at a bachelorette party. Not to disappoint I moved my finger off my middle finger and onto my “wedding finger,” and we acted like I was getting married to a gent named Doug, my sister was my maid of honor and we kept on yelling “You’re Getting Married, awwwwwww!!!” He tried to kiss my hand where my “engagement” ring was (which looked nothing like one). The woman also desperately wanted my friend to ask her boyfriend why they weren’t married. Trobs.

The weirdness continued, my sister and her friends had gone to the bathroom and overheard some strange talk of “Bump Its,” which is a device you put in your hair to make it look Sarah Palin, or like this. BUT then perhaps the most ignorant thing happened. They saw a conversation so disgusting unfold that I’ll try to recreate it here for you

Asian Girl: ewwww I have pepper stuck in my teeth!

Blonde Friend: No Big deal, girl you Asian (plucks a string of hair out of her friend’s hair, and hands it to her) Here’s some floss girl!

And the asian girl in fact flossed with her own hair. Racism and hygiene together.

This whole ordeal is nothing compared to fun/nausea/crazyness that laid in store for us at Kitchen 24 (a 24-hour “swanky” diner in Hollywood). Before this evening my most fondest memory of the Kitchen was when one of my best friends from college threw up in the bathroom post-21st b-day and then took a dump in front of me (it all went in the toilet, thank you!). Tonight was much better… because CHRIS BROWN was there. Y’all remember him, right? He beat up Rhianna and left some teeth marks on her in case we didn’t think him slamming her face against the car was enough. This is what he did to her if you forgot, world.

Don't let my sister give you the stank eye because you'll probably get over it QUICK

I interviewed my middle sister about this crazy ordeal with Chris Brown. Oh also this is what she looked like… so I’d like you to see this during the interview when she answers my hard-hitting questions.

She looked at him thrice!

Question 1: What were you thinking when you saw Chris Brown?

Answer: At first I didn’t know what was happening because I was drunk, but then Alex (her friend) said, “Hey, that’s Chris Brown!” for the third time and I thought: wow, he’s disdainful towards women. I should stare at him to convey disdain back!

Question 2: Tell me about the way he reacted to the disdain?

Answer: Well, he looked at me for a brief moment perpelexed and then he turned back to the girl sitting next to him. She was very normal looking (not as hot as Rihanna!) That’s for sure. I wonder in my drunkness if my mean face looked like my goofy face.

Question 3: After we left the establishment what did you do next?

Answer: Well, I’m glad you asked that question, Sister. Hard hitting journalism! I reprimanded a short man for being named Andre (like the cheap champagne, people), got into my friend’s car and proceeded to yell out of the car window that Chris Brown was at E-24 (note she didn’t say the correct establishment for awhile) and that everyone should go there and beat him up!

Question 4: Any additional thoughts?

Answer: Yay! I’d like to add: if you’re 16 and at the In-Out-Burger on a Saturday Night, maybe wear shorts under your dress for the dance party!

After we yelled to much of Hollywood (post 2AM) where Chris Brown could be found we went to In-and-Out Burger (a California fast food chain), and while chilling in the drive-thru line Elle overheard some white people talking about how their friend looks like “Slim-Shady,” to which she rolled down the window and yelled at them, “ALL WHITE PEOPLE LOOK THE SAME!” And that is how you end the night, right!

Side Notes: SAINTS made the giants look like kindergartners. 48-27 (and it wasn’t even that close). It was a great game. Every time the Saints made a touch down my sister and I ran Victory Laps around the living room.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Where do bird babies come from? – Nidhi (Mumbai, India)

Hi Nidhi! I love that I have fans in India (and in London). I’m sort of upset that your education in India has failed you about basic biology, so I’m going to fail you, too. “Bird Babies” (which is that the right term?) come from Storks, well some do if they are baby Storks. Thanks, keep reading.

2. I love the art you do. But I don’t have much money. You have anything under $10? – Lou (from Tipaloo, KS)

Great question, Lou! Thanks. I do in fact sell pieces for under 10. Like check out this note-card set for only $5.00. You get three orginial pieces for only 5.00 dollars.