i’m the press conference, you’re a conversation

“About fifteen miles above New Orleans the river goes very slowly. It has broadened out there until it is almost a sea and the water is yellow with the mud of half a continent. Where the sun strikes it, it is golden.” — Frank Yerby

I haven’t been around a lot after being around so much. That’s a pretty cruel joke for me to play on y’all. C’est la vie, readers! (that’s French for “don’t come to me with your first world problems“)

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"Hoot DAT Circle Painting"

who dat, who dat say they GONNA BUY THIS REALLY CUTE OWL at my ETSY Shop. Everyone loves the (#SAINTS except those who don’t) and everyone loves Owls (except oclophobics).

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. you found monkey & cat/dog photos!?!??! this is a thing?? bABHAHAHAHAHAA. love the justification, and severely doubt you got all the cat names right. just saying. i’m on both team cat & team dog. there. i said it. – Nidhi (from Mumbai, INDIA)

How can you say you’re both. That’s like saying you’re for evil and good at the same time (yes, I am saying cats = evil and dogs = good). I got ALL of the cats right, pay up, fan! It’s amazing how easy it is to find these photos. I am clearly not the only person obsessed with this heavenly combo of mammal. I just found a new one!

I feel bad for this dog. These little monkeys are real punks, and they think they're cooler than they are. DOUCHE CHILL (the fact this monkey thinks he's actually got this dog on a leash, oh brother!)

2. what did you do during the bye week? i felt like there was nothing to do without my saints playing on sunday! – Robert (from Lake Charles, LA)

Exactly, Robert. It was difficult not to have a week of news much less a game this past sunday with our boys in the black and gold. For those who don’t like football or know much about sports. In the NFL, teams get a week off during the regular 16 games in order to lengthen the season to make more money for the NETWORKS get some much needed rest. I still did my daily reading of Canal Street Chronicles, ESPN-nfl, NOLA.com, and SI.com. I also paid more attention to the NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (having a very nice start to the season). But of course I also did my photo studying, and I love this!

I love this dog's enthusiasm! GEAUX SAINTS. TWO DAT

That is it for now folks. Next week I’ll be in NEW ORLEANS, LA (jealous?) Maybe I’ll post from there. I will also be at the SAINTS- seahawks game in the dome on sunday (jealous?).

Who Dat? We Dat!

Salut! It’s been crazy long. So long that I’m not going to even do the math. I’m not going to apologize either. You can’t make me. Is it my fault? Well, technically, yes, since, there, are, so, many, commas, in, this, sentence. But on to more relevant and pressing news.

WHO DAT! Am I right, or am I right? I will again keep all SAINTS talk to a paragraph, but do understand I am very, soooo excited about the recent can of whoop ass they brought on the New England Patriots.

poor Tom Brady sacked... it felt so good

I think Tom Brady was in tears once he was taken out of the game with five minutes still left; the ultimate sign of defeat. Oh, and did I tell you the best part? I was AT THE GAME in the SUPERDOME! Can you believe it, loyal readers? Can you? Here is a picture:

A picture from where I was sitting! taken towards the end of the 1st half. random other nfl mascots in the frame

So, now the SAINTS are 11-0 with a real chance of going undefeated before the playoffs.

So, where have I been readers (I want y’all to know my grammar checker wanted me to correct readers with reader, does word know the truth??? It also wants me to learn how to spell grammar)? I’m still not going to apologize and I didn’t get swine flu (yet) so you don’t have to feel some sort of misplaced guilt for the constant questions of where I was at. I’ll tell you already. I was chilling in my beautiful (mostly rainy however while I was there) NEW ORLEANS for thanksgiving break, or holiday since my ass isn’t technically still in school. It’s hard to go eighteen years of “thanksgiving breaks” to all of a sudden just having “thanksgiving.”

What did I do on my break, and what did you fine loyal readers do on yours? Please share in the comment section. If you had more fun than me then I will not let your comments be published, but if had a good to okay to disastrous thanksgiving experience I will gladly enjoy reading and sharing those stories. And if they’re real all the better.

My break was fairly one of leisure I must say. It was a true vacation. Never had to do laundry or the dishes, and I was able to sort of sleep in. It was sublime. Real sublime. There were some hectic moments of course. For instance, my middle sister and I had to help our youngest sister (aka my manager) get her first bra. I can’t believe I had a manager this whole time who didn’t have sufficient support. How was she ever to support me if she couldn’t support herself? It’s real dark and lonely out there.

I’ll post again tomorrow with more updates about my thanksgiving to the Bayou!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Wow Katnawlins, way to leave your fans out in the rain with a monsoon on the way. Thanks, a lot! Where in the hell have you been? Are you coming back? – Zed (from Orange County, CA)

You right, you right! I suck. I have just been super busy. And I am a horrible person. Happy now? Calm down, you’re from the OC don’t you have better things to do like hold parties while your parents are out of town.. I don’t know anything about the OC, clearly.

2. I’m not going to ask “where are you?” because it’s none of my business, but tell me this: How amazing were the Saints against the Patriots? I mean, come on! Right? That was legend-wait for it-dairy. I was relocated by Hurricane Katrina to Florida, but I used to live in St. Bernard Parish. It’s been amazing watching our boys play like they have been. I want it to be a black & gold superbowl! – Drew (from Tampa Bay, FL)

Thanks Drew! I know for a lot of New Orleanians in the city and all over the world that this year Saint’s are super special for them (as were the 2006 Saints, who were one game away from the superbowl). There is no doubt the team this year is special, and unites a population of people that are still displaced and recovering. Keep up the enthusiasm and love for our boys.

3. Katnawlins, i know your ass is going to be bragging about the Saints beating the Patriots, but don’t act like you didn’t go to school in New England. Mad disrespectful. I’ll be the first to admit the Saints outplayed us on every facet of the game. But his game would have been different if it were played in the elements in New England. – Mikey (from Boston, MA)

Thanks, Mikey?  And if grandpa had titties he’d be grandma…  I’m pretty sure the Saints would have  won in Foxboro (unless it was snowing/sleet, then who knows) because they are just a better team than New England this season, but the score would have been closer.

Final note of the day/blog/etc:

I wish I knew what sweet nothings Bellicheck whispered in SP's ear, alas we will never know. WHO DAT

ALL SAINTS DAY (aka the day after Halloween)

Happy All Saints Day, Y’all. Why is this such a special day?

In related, All Saints Day news:

Happy Birthday, New Orleans Saints. On Nov. 1, 1966 – All-Saints Day – the NFL awarded a franchise to Nola. They called the team the Saints.

Enough with the Saints talk since I promised Nidhi.

Happy Halloween, Chimp.. you're oh so clever you don't even know that gourd you're eating is decorative

So… last night was Halloween! YES! What did y’all dress up as? Please tell me in the comments, I’m dying to know (not literally also I don’t really care, c’mon it’s November 1st- we got 365 days till the next time I’ll really care what you’re dressed up as! but still need to know for archival purposes).

What did Katnawlin’s dress up as, you ask… I was Vida (Patrick Swayze) from the film To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar. My friends Kim and Sheri were Chi Chi (John Leguizamo) and Noxeema (Wesley Snipes). This is how we looked:

Fierce! Sorry for the quality of the photo taken on an iphone, but you get it! My dress looks straight up like a Mardi Gras Float, but in the best way possible!

And this is how the original drag queens looked:

Obviously We'll Never be as Fabulous, but We Did Try!

Los Angles is crazy during Halloween. The city was by far the most congested I’ve ever seen it. Halloween is apparently very big here especially where we were most of the night in West Hollywood.

Here’s a picture just to get an idea of how packed West Hollywood is for their Halloween Carnival:

WEHO Halloween Carnival. Everyone was Dressed to Impress

My friends and I had planned to go to multiple spots/ parties in the WeHo and Hollywood areas, but the people and car congestion was not cute at all. A typical 4 mile/10-15 minute drive took almost an hour and $50 (not each) cab later. So, we got out, and just started walking. The people watching was amazing of course. So, the night didn’t go as had expected, but all of us are new to Halloween in LA, and learned if we wanna do it right that we’ll have to start out a lot earlier than 9:00PM and we’ll have to realize that party hopping isn’t going to work. But it was still fun!

HAPPY ALL SAINTS DAY and HAPPY GET AN HOUR ON THE CLOCK DAY!

and now on to…

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Great post about Farmville. I share your addiction. How can I resist the brown cow that makes chocolate milk. It’s like my heart is going to explode from all the love of these cute little critters. So, how is your farm doing, and what level are you on? And oh, umm can we be neighbors? Thanks! – Roy (Dectaur, OK)

Thank you, Roy. I’m at level 11 (wow, just the other day I was at 8! I’m a loser). We can definitely be neighbors but you have to fan me on facebook first (here). Also I love the animals obviously on Farmville, but why no dogs? Don’t the sheep need to be herded? Just a thought.

2. Katnawlins, you’re advice is sometimes all over the place, but I figured what do I have to lose asking you for some? My family and I can’t stop fighting over what we should have as our main protein at Thanksgiving this year. The obvious and traditional protein would be a Turkey, but that’s so traditional and boring. What do you think we should make? – Duncan (from Rochester, NY)

Duncan, I understand, and that’s why my Southern Ass thinks you should get a TURDUCKEN.

“a dish consisting of a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The thoracic cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are stuffed, sometimes with a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird.” – wikipedia

My family has this often for thanksgiving and even for Christmas usually with a crawfish stuffing (my favorite part, and this year I’m not eating meat, so the stuffing will have to do). I know you find my advice suspect, but this is actually legit and delicious advice. So, Yankee try this southern concoction!

That’s it for today! See y’all later. Oh and “Who dat? Who dat say they gonna beat dem Saints”