I wouldn’t have it any other way

“So I drifted down to New Orleans / Where I happened to be employed / Workin’ for a while on a fishin’ boat / Right outside of Delacroix” — Bob Dylan, Tangled Blue

Today is the SUPER BOWL, and there is just no way it will be as GLORIOUS as SUPER BOWL 44 was last year (unless you are a packers or steelers fan, but like… why?) I’m not that upset about it because the beautiful & painful thing about time is that what happened can’t be taken back (unless you were bribed in college and have to give your Heisman Trophy back). With that said I do wish I was watching the #SAINTS TWO DAT (repeat SB championship victories back to the back), but alas they were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. There’s always NEXT YEAR (a phrase Saints fans know all too well).

HEY! I’m also back here writing to y’all, so if that ain’t good news than what is, right? Let’s just go ahead and make this post SUPER BOWL 45 related (I’ll make an ill-advised prediction at the bottom of this post).

To be fair I’m not going to talk so much about STEELERS vs PACKERS because I love football, but y’all didn’t come here to read a write up about great tackling ability of the Steeler D or the arm of Aaron Rodgers. You came here to listen to me whine (no, that’s not why? my bad). And I’m going to whine about something football lovers and non-football people can relate to.

 

I couldn't find a single AMERICAN FOOTBALL with a CHIMP. deal with it, I haven't!

I DETEST WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY WATCH THE SUPER BOWL FOR THE COMMERCIALS!

There I said it! I’ve been holding that in way too long, y’all. Now why do I find this soooo problematic, you ask? It’s one thing if you love football or shared community experiences that the Super Bowl has heaps of both. But when you’re hosting a SUPER BOWL PARTY not to watch football, but to watch the commercials something is seriously wrong with you. I GET that new commercials premiere during the Super Bowl (smart one, advertisers & devil), but PEOPLE if you ever watch a television for the rest of the year or know what hulu/youtube are you’re going to see these commercials 100 more times before the next SUPER BOWL. So, to have a party just to watch these commercials, well you’ve been DUPED! It’s like buying a tee-shirt with NIKE on it, and that’s all. You’ve JUST paid for the right to advertise for NIKE for free!

Also when people say they just watch the “Super Bowl for the commercials” it’s pretentious like American football is below them, and somehow watching multi-million dollar companies shovel their brand of shit down our throats is more sophisticated then watching a game of chess. If you don’t like football that’s fine. I don’t like golf, but I don’t say I watch the PGA Tour for the hats. I just don’t watch/follow it. Simple.

Soooo, if you’re one of those who say “I just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials” then I have to ask do you also know the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes?

OKAY ENOUGH OF THE WHINING! ON TO THE…..

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"Houses in a Row (Set of Katnawlins Greeting Cards)"

Hey! I’ve started selling card sets of my work. Right now at KATNAWLINS SHOP. I have two card sets: “Houses in a Row” (above) & “Animal Crackers,” and you can get each card in these two sets individually as well. Check out the CARD SECTION at my shop!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. glad ur back. is this you? (image below) – caroline (from springfield, ma)

Is this me, or just the most amazing ape ever?

Thank you, and thanks for including this picture in your question. Unfortunately, that isn’t me. I wish I had a 10th of the skill of that ape, but one day, maybe? If you added a dog in there that could be my father’s typical Wednesday morning!

2. I’m really enjoying the new quotes using NEW ORLEANS at the head of the posts. I enjoy them more than the monkey business because I feel like you’re better than that tired joke. But to combine your love for chimps & new orleans i’ve included a pic of the two! (image below) – stan (from furd, ny)

Who is this little boy? Why did you give this picture to me? That chimp is working the outfit. FIERCE!

Wow thanks?

 

My prediction for SUPER BOWL 45 (and don’t hold me to this) GREEN BAY 24 – PITTSBURGH 17. There you have it!

It’s been diffic

BRING EM TO THE DOME

“We used to say ‘Who dat’ since way back when / Now we’re saying ‘We dat’ every time we win / You can write it down, take a picture, tell a friend / We already done it. We’re gonna do it again” — Rebirth Brass Band

I’m all kinds of happy. I’m sitting here with a sore throat, but with a glow of happiness from last night’s tight game between the NEW ORLEANS #SAINTS against our biggest foes the dirty birds (aka the atlanta falcons). We’re battling it for NFC and NFC South supremacy.

I’ll keep the SAINTS talk to a minimum since I know some of my readers don’t like/care about football. Let’s put it this way. Last nights game took some of the dirty birds swagger away, and nothing bad about that, y’all.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holidays. Mine have been very nice and chill (too many times i’ve been hungover, but that is what NEW ORLEANS is for I guess.

Happy Holidays! Imagine that this amazing SANTA APE is singing, "All I Want for Christmas is for the SAINTS to go the Superbowl"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. my favorite thing about your blog are not your words or your humor (cause neither make much sense). what keeps me coming back for more are the pics of monkeys you find. keep em coming! – cici  (from tonka, NJ)

That’s a weird compliment mixed with not so nice things. I’m with you on the monkey/ape pics. I love them clearly. I spent hours of my life trolling the internet looking for these pictures. HOURS! Here is a new cute one I’d say.

I'm trying to figure it out, too

This chimp is wiser than us all. He can write with BOTH HANDS! BOTH! Amazing!

2. yyyyyyyooo mami! I LOVE your new layout. Looks great. Really enjoy the new banner. – Darren (from San Diego, CA)

Thank you, Darren. This might just be one of the nicest things said to me of all things said to me on my blog.

3. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON THIS PIC BELOW. NO IDEA! NONE! HELP! – Bea (from Philadelphia, PA)

Everyone Deserves to be Loved

I see how you may be confused by this picture, but luckily I’m an expert in chimp picture behavior. First look this picture seems very cute/sweet, and even romantic because it’s in black and white. However, if you are truly paying attention you notice that one chimp is in fact tying the other chimp up in a sexually suggestive way. I think there is true love and respect here, but I also think there is high kink here, too. They really are just like us!

That’s all for today y’all! WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS… can’t wait for the playoffs. TWO DAT! I’ll be in the SUPERDOME for the last game of the regular season on January 2nd! I’ll be drunk probs, but also excited to see my boos!

all that glitters is gold

“Way down yonder in NEW ORLEANS . In the land of dreamy scenes. There’s a garden of Eden. You know what I mean.” — Louis Armstrong

Is everyone excited for the holidays? If we’re being real and inclusive then the holidays really already started December 1st was the first day of JEWISH 8 DAYS OF OIL HOLIDAY (it’s famous).

I’ll be in NEW ORLEANS for the holidays as usual. Last year the family went to London to celebrate my parents 25th-anniversary-of-not-killing-each-other-while-living-on-the-under-the-same-roof. It was cold and dreary (thanks ENGLAND). And we missed the annual FAMILY LAST NAME tradition (going strong after three years, The Annual Christmas Eve Party at the FAMILY LAST NAME, which consists of my mom inviting 3 people + family and having tons of party food and a random ham my Nana thinks needs to be there. My sisters and i just look embarrassed at the lack of guests.

This year my middle sister and I are going to wear festive holiday sweaters to keep up us warm and entertained for five minutes. I purchased “classy” versus “classic” holiday sweaters at a LOS ANGELES thrift store on Melrose (they had tons at AMERICAN VINTAGE). Look for an example below:

"CLASSIC TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

"CLASSY HOLIDAY SWEATER"

Do you see what I mean now? these are two very different kinds of sweaters, and I’d be very offended if someone thought the one on the right was the same as the one on the left.  how did i get these words here?

Now that we’ve got that cleared up (thankfully) on to more important & pressing needs.

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"I HEART NOLA Shotgun (one of a kind)"

“I HEART NOLA SHOTGUN (one of a kind)” can be purchased at my ETSY SHOP. This colored pencil drawing is just one of many new items in my shop. I have new paintings and holiday ornaments like the ones below!

"SAINTS Holiday Ornament (one of a kind)" & "NOLA Orange Ornament (one of a kind)"

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. have you been able to find any great chimps in a holiday sweater for the season? Cause I can’t find a single one!!! NOT ONE – Lex (from Newport, MA)

It’s been difficult. Very trying actually! TACKY HOLIDAY SWEATERS = hilarious & CHIMPS DOING ANYTHING = hilarious, so you’d think that sweaters + chimps = GOLDMINE. I know, I know. These two pics were the closest I came to finding our dream pictures!

Puppet Monkeys Dressed for the Season - this is disappointing

Imagine that this adorable little chimp had a holiday element to it. maybe those white dots are SNOW!!

I couldn't resist! It is a GREEN sweater/hoodie with a dogggggy!

2. KATNAWLINS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LITTLE DOGS DRESSED UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS? – Vince (from Jakarta, Indonesia)

I think it’s cute. More cute than I should because I also think it looks absolutely stupid. I totally understand from a place of warmth. If you have a dog that has hair instead of fur (i.e. poodles, schnoodles, cockapoos (anything with poodle in it basically) then to keep this animal warm in cold climates something like a doggy sweater or coat is good.

How cute I find the picture is determined by how awesome the dog feels in said picture.

Exhibit A: This schnoodle LOVES their sweater & their owner. Couldn't be more stylish if it tried!

Exhibit B: This pug hates his life & loves his owner (cause all dogs love their owners unless the last name is VICK).

You can also be impressed that both pictures involve HOLIDAY SWEATERS (and one is an example of classy and the other an example of tacky).

3. How about dem boys? You think we gonna two dat? – Flex (from Alexandria, LA)

I would loooooovvvvvvvvveeeee to play the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and BEAT EM!! How awesome would that be if we could beat Manning and Brady in back to back Super Bowls. It’d say a lot about us and for Drew Brees!

So, yes I think we can definitely TWO DAT (for those not a SAINTS fan it just means WIN THE SUPERBOWL). In order to make our lives easier it’d be great to get no. 1 seed in the NFC playoffs, but that will be hard with the dirty birds playing so competently. I do think we can beat them in the Georgiadome. We’re much better than we were when we first played them back in week 3. It’s going to be tough, but we’ve been done this road before and have been VICTORIOUS!

That’s it for now, y’all. HAVE A FABULOUS HOLIDAY, and I’ll see you in 2011 (damn this place is getting mad old!!).

i’m the press conference, you’re a conversation

“About fifteen miles above New Orleans the river goes very slowly. It has broadened out there until it is almost a sea and the water is yellow with the mud of half a continent. Where the sun strikes it, it is golden.” — Frank Yerby

I haven’t been around a lot after being around so much. That’s a pretty cruel joke for me to play on y’all. C’est la vie, readers! (that’s French for “don’t come to me with your first world problems“)

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"Hoot DAT Circle Painting"

who dat, who dat say they GONNA BUY THIS REALLY CUTE OWL at my ETSY Shop. Everyone loves the (#SAINTS except those who don’t) and everyone loves Owls (except oclophobics).

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. you found monkey & cat/dog photos!?!??! this is a thing?? bABHAHAHAHAHAA. love the justification, and severely doubt you got all the cat names right. just saying. i’m on both team cat & team dog. there. i said it. – Nidhi (from Mumbai, INDIA)

How can you say you’re both. That’s like saying you’re for evil and good at the same time (yes, I am saying cats = evil and dogs = good). I got ALL of the cats right, pay up, fan! It’s amazing how easy it is to find these photos. I am clearly not the only person obsessed with this heavenly combo of mammal. I just found a new one!

I feel bad for this dog. These little monkeys are real punks, and they think they're cooler than they are. DOUCHE CHILL (the fact this monkey thinks he's actually got this dog on a leash, oh brother!)

2. what did you do during the bye week? i felt like there was nothing to do without my saints playing on sunday! – Robert (from Lake Charles, LA)

Exactly, Robert. It was difficult not to have a week of news much less a game this past sunday with our boys in the black and gold. For those who don’t like football or know much about sports. In the NFL, teams get a week off during the regular 16 games in order to lengthen the season to make more money for the NETWORKS get some much needed rest. I still did my daily reading of Canal Street Chronicles, ESPN-nfl, NOLA.com, and SI.com. I also paid more attention to the NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (having a very nice start to the season). But of course I also did my photo studying, and I love this!

I love this dog's enthusiasm! GEAUX SAINTS. TWO DAT

That is it for now folks. Next week I’ll be in NEW ORLEANS, LA (jealous?) Maybe I’ll post from there. I will also be at the SAINTS- seahawks game in the dome on sunday (jealous?).

put a twenty dollar gold piece on my watch chain

“In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are the two most interesting food towns. In New Orleans, they don’t have a bad deli. There’s no mediocrity accepted.” — Mario Batali

No. 16 Lance Moore scores the final TOUCHDOWN of the SAINTS game against the steelers. final score: 20-10. WHO DAT

We did it, Y’ALL! We beat no. 1 ranked Pittsburgh Steelers. I can’t call it a comeback yet because we need some consistency, but last night’s game in the superdome was a BIG WIN for us. A BIG WIN!

In other news, my youngest sister/manager (she was interviewed in this post) came in town this week to do some much needed college touring and interviewing. So, I played personal chauffeur to her needs this weekend. Every single need this girl had I had to obey. She would say I didn’t really do that. By the end of the visit she was for sure sick of me, and at one point even had the AUDACITY to kick me out of my own living room because I was “annoying her.” OUCH! She eventually forgave me, and allowed me to re-enter my own abode, but it was tense for an hour.

Surely, y'all remember my manager. She is a lil dumpling, she is!

The great thing about my little sister is her sense of humor. She has a way with words and a way with insults. On of our family trip to London Town. She told me, “Your face is my bidet” (for Americans who may not know what that is: it’s a plumbing device to wash one’s ass with after they dropped the kids off at the pool (aka poop)).

This trip was no disappointment. We walked into our hotel room in Orange, CA.

Me: Wow, I thought this HOTEL FRANCHISE was fancier.

Sister: What do you expect for $13.00 a night?

Me: That was just for the parking.

She also told me that she raised me more than my own mother did. My sister is six years my junior.  I also realize these things may not be that funny for y’all because you don’t know her and maybe you don’t have a sense of humor. I get it!

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. i’m glad to see you are regularly posting. I guess you’re sort of sick of hearing that, but take it as a compliment.  Have you seen this picture. I saw it and immediately thought of you. Immediately. — Pepe (from Paris, France)

Pic Included w/ Question: isn't this great?

Thanks, Pepe. I love my internal fans the second most. Y’all are great, and let me just say that your English is pretty good. Not anything to write home about, but pretty good. Now take that as a compliment. As for the pic it’s adorable! ADORABLE. Is it funny? No. Why did this make you think of me? Because of the primate connection. I’m not that easy to figure out. Nice try, frenchie. How about this pic for hilarity (must bring expectations down a bit).

You gave me cute I RAISE you absurd!

2. Happy ALL SAINTS DAY! The anniversary when the New Orleans Saints were formed! Great win last night couldn’t have come at a better time. – Dana (from Baton Rouge, LA)

Agreed. Not sure what else to say to that. I agree, soooooooooooooooo WHO DAT!
That’s all for now!

ACTING PLUG: By the way I’ll be on  CBS, The Doctors tomorrow. Check out your local listings to see me on TV. If you’re like but what’s you name? I think it’s going to be PRETTY obvious who I am. My segment has Mardi Gras floats and Jazz music playing. You’ll know me when you hear it.

Extraordinary histories, ordinary histories, ordinary histories

“Way down yonder in New Orleans/In the land of dreamy scenes/There’s a garden of Eden/You know what I mean.” — Louis Armstrong

So, yesterday my NEW ORLEANS SAINTS took a real unexpected beating from the cleveland browns (1-4, now 2-4). The browns were thirteen point underdogs. It was a very tough game to watch. We played with little to no urgency, and just real sloppy. I can’t blame defense who actually played very well. But the offense again was just really not on point (I guess “Super Bowl Hangover” is a real thing).

OKAY OKAY OKAY. What the hell. GUYS, I have an amazing video to show you. It’s sooooo weird (and blessedly short). It features my beloved CHIMP + DOG loves in one place with moving picture and sound. This very strange, and so with no further ado I give you:

I  know… weird, right? Epically strange yet you smiled, right? A real genuine, I GET IT SMILE. Right? Then you immediately regretted smiling because that chimp is an ass hole.  I’m not going to tell you all the weird reasons why I had that video in my knowledge bank (aka brain). That’s highly classified information, but it was there, and it was AWESOME.

What else do I have to share with y’all? I’m tired. Can’t  you tell by how lazily this post has been written? If I’m going to try to write in her at least twice a week then you have to give me a break. WHAT? MY POSTS WEREN’T THAT GREAT TO BEGIN WITH? Wow, okay! I try, guys. I can’t poop gems every time I sit in front of my computer (that’s okay, I don’t think ANYONE wants that for you or those sitting around you and your computer). Also to be fair to everyone involved with this. I don’t think you want me writing long ass posts every time either. Who has the time to read them much less write these, babies? That’s what I thought.

SELF PROMOTION TIZZY

"I HEART St. Louis Cathedral (One of a Kind Painting)"

This painting is an homage to one of the most famous landmarks in NEW ORLEANS, LA. St. Louis Cathedral in the French Quarter. My parents were married in this here landmark back in January 1985. It’s pretty, right? The actual cathedral, not my painting. Y’all, I’m not that vain.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. You never talk about the acting thing on here anymore? remember that long boring auditioning post you made almost a year ago? cause i do. that thing was whack! – willy (from Zeppelin, SD).

You know what’s whack? South Dakota, BOOOYYYYAAAAHHHHH. You walked right into that one, Willy. Sorry. I’m still doing the acting thing, but mostly through my various improv endeavors. I’m still currently studying the Harold (a long-form version of improv that is sucking all my brain juices).  I am also performing in a show with some people in North Hollywood on November 2nd. Doing the audition thing and what not. I’ll keep y’all posted when I become famous of course the irony being is that I’ll be too famous for this blog. I’ll be WAY TOO BIG. Oh, the little people, I’ll always forget you (hahahahhahahahahhaha).

2. I’m a big dog lover! And I love that you are, too. Tell me what is your favorite breed? Mine are Poodles. – Lavender (from Frankford, CT)

YAY I love that some of my readers love dogs just as much as I do. That is a difficult question. Maybe one of the most difficult questions a normal-every day-regular person can be asked. But I’ll get it a whirl. Just because to make this easy for everyone (and really just myself). I’ll say golden retrievers are my favorite breed. But I love most dogs and I love muts a lot, too. But since I was a kid I always wanted a golden retriever. Then in my junior year of high school my parents got me on for my Christmas present (every five year old’s favorite xmas gift). Her name is Kara, and she still lives with my family in New Orleans with three other canine pals including her boyfriend, Buckley.

Here Kara is with her boyfriend, Buckley (the large white doggy) and her bestfriend and sister, Heidi (the little schnoodle in the background)

3. What are you doing for Halloween? – Nelly (from Jacksonville, FL)

I am watching the SAINTS hopefully pummel the pittsburgh steelers on my television set with my youngest sister (aka the manager) when she visits me in Los Angeles this coming weekend. I know you’re mad jealous of my Halloween plans. Guess what they can be yours, too (if you own a television or the desire).

That’s all for today, y’all. Keep it up! WHO DAT!

where the sun strikes, it is golden

For now on I’m going to begin each blog post with a little QUOTE by famous folks about NEW ORLEANS. You’re welcome!

“Don’t you just love those long rainy afternoons in NEW ORLEANS when an hour isn’t just an hour – but a little piece of eternity dropped into your hands – and who knows what to do with it?” — Tennessee Williams

Early Happy Halloween. Let’s get it started at my blog with this new colored pencil mixed media drawing, “NOLA Halloween Shotgun (one of a kind)”

 

"NOLA Halloween Shotgun (one of a kind)"

I’m glad we were able to get that bit of self-promotion out of the way. It’s for the best.

I had no idea what to talk about. I really didn’t. When I woke up this morning brimming with ideas of how the day would go. 1. wake up 2. brush teeth 3. clean face 5. brush thick mane of hair 4. make-up 5. get dressed 6. eat breakfast 7. drive to work 8. WORK. I never thought about what to write in my blog. I can always fall back on the usual topics: nothing, art, New Orleans, or nada. The thing driving my day today is PMS. Yes, the old pre-menopausal syndrome mess that women hate, and that men hate & no nothing about it.

I have two male readers, so I first thought about them, and how awkward this conversation may make them feel. But then because I am in fact PMSing I don’t really care how they feel. They can get the fuck over it. When I have PMS I’m not extra emotional. I just feel more tired, more bitchy, more annoyed, and have a huge head ache (that hurts worse and worse throughout the day with the most bull shit I have to contend with, SURPRISE SURPRISE!).

Being a woman is already annoying enough. I was about to start listing all the stuff as women we have to put up with between the naturally unfair things (periods & pain of childbirth) & institutionalized sexism & the beauty myth, and so on and so forth, but I am too tired and annoyed to even get into all of that today. And I didn’t want those legitimate injustices to be chalked up as, “she’s just pmsing!”

I don’t have bad PMS every time I’m about to start my monthly female duties. Which is extremely kind of my body to sometimes let me have a break, but what happens is that I endure quite a bad case every three months. Like my hormonal explosion of UGH saves itself up and unleashes itself all at one time, which is not really really fair to me either. I’m not a violent person, but when this happens I don’t want to be touched. Everything and anything can set me off. I’m totally on edge. If someone says something stupid or ignorant I pounce whereas other times I can somewhat ignore it just not listen to what they’re saying until I hear a change of subject. When I feel like this I need to yell at them, and I want to punch them. Me punch someone? I don’t even know how to hit someone.

How about you Ladies? What frequently do you experience all out PMS? What are your symptoms?

Before we head into “Die-Hard Fan” section of my blog let’s end the body on a happpy/upbeat note. Even in my current state I can appreciate silly things. It’s what keeps me going.

Bestfriends for Life: They're Just Like Us

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. You seem to mostly feature primates in your blog. Why is that? – Harry (from Westport, PA).

I feature mostly my own artwork on my blog. I think you mean when I show silly pictures it’s usually chimps or orangutans or gorillas, right? I just love them. They’re closely related to us (humans… if aliens or a salamander is reading this, I didn’t mean to be exclusive). I also feature a lot of dogs, too since they are my favorite animal. Of course I try to feature as many primate & doggy combos as I possibly can and as often as I can. These are two awesome and intelligent species that also happen to have a million ridiculous photos of on the internet, and I love exploiting that.

2. Kat- do you think the SAINTS have a chance of repeating? Thanks. – Drew (from New Orleans, LA)

I hardly ever have people from NOLA write me questions. This was a nice surprise in my inbox. Y’all this isn’t Drew Brees writing in to my blog either, so please calm down. There are many Drews’ in New Orleans. Back to the question:  I am biased of course. I think the NFC is pretty weak this year. Whereas last year I’d argue we were (like I’m part of the NFC) stronger and more competitive than the AFC. Everyone knows what NFL stands for, right? NOT FOR LONG. So, this year because the NFC is so weak I think we have a great chance of repeating at least as NFC Champions. We gotta keep playing like we did last week against Tampa Bay, and we gotta WIN the games we’re supposed to win. Our schedule for the rest of the season isn’t that hard. There are three tough games left, and we win the games we’re supposed to win even if we lost those tough games our record would be 11-5. Not bad at all. It’s doable! WHO DAT!

Why would you go and kid a kidder?

Wow. I know TWO POSTS in less than a week. Whatever is happening in this here universe to allow such a thing to occur? Also, how cliche and stupid am I? I constantly say the same thing if I even write two posts in the same month. I am nothing if I am not a walking cliche of a hollowed soul. It MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. I know. I know.  (I’ve been waiting my whole life for the proverbial “GET HER OFF THE STAGE” CANE to make its literal presence in my life. No such luck, world.)

In today’s post, I think we should (we = me, haha) focus on ONE THING. I mean that’s what a blog should be. Of course you know I’d love to focus just on the #SAINTS all the time, but I’ve promised a certain lovely person in #INDIA I would keep all Saints talk to a bare minimum. I will say this: GEAUX SAINTS –> 4-2 thus far! YAY!

Let’s make this post ABOUT SOMETHING. So often my blog posts are about nothing. Zlitch, NADA… they’re about how they aren’t about anything. How #Seinfeld of me, right (also no idea if I spelled that right or not)?

I even thought about making this post about wanting to make this post about SOMETHING. How 21st century of me, how modern (katie, it’s not the modern age anymore that was 100 years ago, FUCK!) How Post-Modern of me, right? (…) WHAT? What it’s not the post-modern age anymore? Then what time are we living in?

I want this dog so very much! He is available right now. He's a puppy stray in Los Angeles.

I sold a painting this weekend BY THE WAY, readers. I sold my “Lil Creole Red (one of a kind painting).” If you like this painting and are bummed you didn’t get it first. Do not fret, readers. I have plenty of paintings, drawings and prints on sale at my SHOP.

 

Everyone knows the story of Little Red Riding Hood, but no one knows the story of Lil Creole Red who was told many a time to “beware the path” unfortunately the path was destroyed by the United States Core of Engineers during Hurricane Katrina.
Now she’ll have to make her way through the watered path to Grandma’s house.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Hey-yo.You promote your artwork here a lot? Why? – Cirk (from Dock, AL).

Cirk, I promote my artwork here because that’s what a blog is used for. It’s used to publicize me as a person. That’s what all blogs are made for. Sheeeeeeeessssssssssssshhh!

2. If lizards grow on trees. What grows on lizards? – Tommy (from Scarsdale, NY)

I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just do my best to make sense of what you just asked me, Tommy. First of all, lizards don’t grow on trees. They’re not money. Secondly, I’m very concerned that you thought they possibly could. Sure, they might make a tree their home. Their habitat even, but never grow from said tree. Thirdly, only tails actually grow on lizards. You’re truly an idiot. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. Sheeeeesssshhhh!!

Exactly! This is how this QUESTION makes me feel. thanks, lizard!

3. Katnawlins, You seem hip and with it what with your dancing monkeys and all- I have a question. Yesterday I had the unique experience of posing as a poser at an indie rock festival. It was exceedingly difficult seeing as I didn’t speak the lingo and I’d left my black skinny jeans in with my whites, thus bleaching them. So for meta-analysis? How does one succeed at posing at posing?! – Concerned Hipster (from San Francisco, CA)

First of all bleached skinny jeans is very “in” with the “hipsters” aka “indie” crowd. Why are they in, Katnawlins? Thanks for asking-ish. They’re IN because they’re IRONIC, and they’re ironic because they are dated. Have you ever seen a young gentlefellow (i.e. early to mid-35) with a crazy “evil mustache” on his face that he grew himself? This here man is probably a hipster, and when I say probably I mean YES, HE IS A HIPSTER! I’ve included pictures to make you understand what I’m saying, world. But back to “Concerned Hipster” you see you were FITTING IN. You were. That’s the thing. Look weird and awkward, which I’m sure you are both, and you’ve got it!

Which one is a hipster?

Who do I like more? Let's put it that way.

How I said to you, ‘honey, just open your heart.’ When I’ve got trouble even opening a honey jar.

HI FRIENDSHIP. HELLO BLOG.

I feel horrible about not writing in here. Not so horrible as to write in here, but bad enough. It’s been so long that I feel as if there is so much ground to cover that this post would be all over the place, and this sentence is running so long as it is, but I have no idea how to finish it without just deleting it, so I continue onwards with this terrible writing, and wonder how I ever received a bachelor of arts degree much less a high school diploma from a preparatory school, but Katie it was from the South, so how good could it be?

So, let’s just pretend I haven’t been away for a long time, Blog, shall we?

My friend Ashleigh taught me something pretty cool yesterday. We were stranded at Borders (the bookstore not the place on a wall) because it was 113 degrees yesterday in Los Angeles. Crazy!

I realized just now that i’ve never shown y’all a picture of my roommate.

Ashleigh (bestfriend & roommate) she gets ever sooooo cold that she has to wear a hoodie.. SHE LOVES HOODIES, Y'ALL she told me yesterday allll about it as we hung out in our sauna of a living room. it was delusional!

Anyway, so Ashleigh showed me this cool Application on my #Mac. It’s a dictionary and thesaurus in your computer. Ready at a moments notice. So, no worries, kind readers you can leave your heavy Websters and his buddy T-rex (one of the oldest thesaurus jokes known to man) at home, and just bring your old laptop with you.

EXAMPLE:

defintions of words we love and didn't know we loved. hhhooorrrraaayyy

It’s REAL!

You haven’t had me talk to y’all in so long. But really all I have done since March 2010 was look up words on my computer and giggle and point in pure mirth at my discoveries. It was pure & mirthful!

One more thing before I go to the Die-Hard Fan Section. A little Self-Promotion never hurt anyone. And after all my blog is called, “art.with.a.NOLA.beat” not “ramblings from an idiot” so without further ado.

SELF-PROMOTION

"Nina Sings to the Stars (one of a kind painting)"

I have a lot of new paintings and colored pencil pieces in Katnawlin’s Shop since we last talked. Go check it out, old friends. This painting in particular is inspired by one of my favorite musical artists Nina Simone.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION: Where Y’all get to ask me questions!

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Welcome back. I’ve missed coming here and reading from your blog every week. A little nugget of sunshine is what my wife called it – Zack (From Buffalo, NY)

Thanks, that’s very sweet of y’all. I only had like 10 posts over the course of like 6 months, but the sentiment is sweet.

2. Hi, i heard that you and the manager and sister decided which dog breeds you were over your visit to New Orleans earlier in September. do you mind sharing with your faithful readers? thanks. – Cody (From Silver Springs, UT)

Wow, Cody. How come you know us like that? Were you at the PetCo when we made that choice? For everyone else reading this who has absolutely no idea what we’re talking about. My sisters Elle and Olivia (aka my manager) had time to kill one afternoon at the local PetCo (could have been PetSmart… I don’t remember!) and so did our best to determine which dog breed each would be. This is what we came up with.

Olivia (aka my manager) would be a beagle

I'd be a Blonde Border Collie

this is Elle from the Chris Brown episode we encountered long ago back in October... I'm sorry Elle's real dog identity is still up in the air. there are so many potential scrappy brown haired dogs with peace bandanas to go through for the truest most pure version of her. WORK IN PROGRESS

So you can see readers that I’m really silly.

3. I’m glad you’re back, but sorry the #SAINTS lost to the dirty birds on Sunday. It was a brutal game in OT. I just wanted to cheer you up. Have you seen this video yet? WHO DAT!- Fergie (from Alexandria, LA)

I have seen it, and I love it! Here kind readers I have embeded it here for you!

“But a dirty bird can’t fly without a broken wing” ya, you right!

Happy New Year, and other things we stop saying after feb. 1st

SAINTS WORLD CHAMPIONS.. WHO DAT, WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT THEM SAINTS... UMM NO ONE ACTUALLY. WE DAT

Happy 2010, y’all. It was a long time a coming since as everyone knows that 2009 historically sucked in so many ways that I can’t even count them (that’s how bad 2009 was I lost the ability to count).

Asides aside, I hope everyone had a great winter-holiday time, and even more fabulous New Years Eve and Day. I haven’t written on here in a real minute because I was across the world in a far away country called London, England. It’s a tiny set of islands in case geography failed you like it’s failed me. Then some time in New Orleans where I really never found the time to write on here.

My Middle Sister took this Picture as My Mother Looked for an ATM

So, now I’m back in Los Angeles doing what I do most of the time sitting behind a desk answering phone calls for other people’s lives aka an assistant. I know y’all are so jealous. Don’t worry I am also doodling up a storm as I sit behind this desk.

Now to the best part of this post! THE SAINTS not only beat the Cardinals, the Vikings, but they went to the SUPER BOWL and won the WHOLE DAMN THING! For reals. I actually was in NOLA last week for the Super Bowl and for LOMBARDI GRAS (the SAINTS Super Bowl parade) Shit was intense.

DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS

You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.

1. Where have you been?

I think I just explained all of that.