Happy, Happy, Happpppppy HOLIDAYS, y’all. Can you believe that we’re in the last month of the year, and we look this cute?
I’m not afraid to admit in this blog that I used to love Christmas. I’m not above that. I guess who doesn’t like Christmas (not everyone celebrates it, Katie, but Jews who sometimes do for the fun of it). There is a baby (jesus, y’all), presents (capitalism, check!), dreams (childhood, yes!), food (holiday weight, thanks!), and outrageous expectations (life!). So, it’s clear at the age of 23 why Christmas doesn’t have the same impact on me anymore (less presents).
When I was 6 I found out the truth. It was on the playground of all (seemingly innocent) places, and this little red-headed bitch had the nerve to drop the largest bomb of my very young, privileged life. She had the audacity (one of my favorite words) to say there was no Santa… no Rudolph no nothing. I did the Home Alone clutch my face and scream. How long did I scream? I don’t remember cause I passed the fuck out.
The worse part was now I had to carry this secret with me. This green&scarlet letter permanently scaring my brain. At the time my sister Elle was four (so young and innocent) and my Manager was like literally a baby like Jesus (she was my manager even then though. powerful shit in her baby formula). Every holiday season post six years old was like a real kick into my gut because I had to keep acting like the fat man was real. It was insulting. On top of the secrets and deception I kept and told my sisters I still stayed to all strange hours in the night waiting to open presents from mom and dad NOT from Santa. This is what Christmas always looked like at my house:
Sister trying to open her present (Left) and Me (Right) trying to get at her present after I've devoured my gifts in moments... it's hard to be older and stronger. And I guess that's my dad in the background making that weirdo face
By the way, my middle sister didn’t find out the real truth about Santa Claus till she was NINE, which means I kept that promise not tell her for FIVE, long hard years. It was devastating (that’s what she said, hahahahahah). This secret dissolved any any soul I had to begin with. I honestly don’t remember when the manager found out (manager, do you recall)?
Self-Promotion Time
"Bohemian NOLA Shotgun (One of a Kind)"
I have a new 18×24 piece up in SHOP. I just sold the “Who Dat Shotgun” as well. So all is going well at the shop, but could always be better so come on down, y’all!
DIE-HARD FAN PORTION WHERE Y’ALL GET TO ASK ME QUESTIONS
You can e-mail me or leave questions for me to answer in the comment section. I love to answer questions- a favorite pass time for me.
1. Katnawlins! Love the blog always read it! I have a serious question for you: How are you spending this holiday? In your beloved New Orleans or in Los Angeles. – Frederic II (from Dillon, TX)
Hi Frederic, thanks for the blog love. I really appreciate it! I am spending a good chunk of the holiday in cheerie ole’ London (my first time out of the country in all of my 23 wise years on this here planet) and the other half in New Orleans to recover from London and New Orleans New Years Eve.
2. It’s the holidays, so I’m wondering what you celebrate Christmas or Chihuahua? Like the blog, but don’t love it yet. With time. – Zed (from Salmon, OR)
Thanks, Zed? I think you meant Chanukah (or Hanukkah) and not chihuahua, but I make spelling errors alllll the time so who am I to talk? You left out a million other celebrations that happen this time of year. If you must know (or now know from this entry of my blog) that I celebrated Christmas growing up, but because I’m half-jewish we ignorantly had a menorah on the Christmas dinner table (including the rare time it snowed on Christmas day in New Orleans in 2004 for forty-five minutes… tsunamis in southeastern asia happened hours later and Katrina months later, so never was the menorah placed on the Christmas table again).
3. Tell me as a SAINTS fan you have seen this video? It’s hi-larious and pretty insulting to the people of south eastern Louisiana. Here is the video. GEAUX SAINTS! (Luxe from Baton Rouge, LA)
Haha, yes I have seen the video and I even put it up on my facebook status because it’s just soo ridiculous. I reccomend everyone who reads my blog to see it. It’s tooo funny and terrifying all that drinking with all those firearms.
That’s it for now, folks! I hope to post before I ship off to cold-rainy-but-fun-London. If not have a great holiday whatever faith you practice or don’t practice. And if you have to work during the holiday break make sure you get that overtime, get it!
OH AND GEAUX SAINTS! 13-0!!!! AMAZING BLACK&GOLD SUPERBOWL
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